Man I gotta tell you, this bla(h)ging every day thing is WAY harder than I ever thought it would be. Ever since my competition bowed to my greatness, I have really slacked. I'm like 10 behind on the year now... at this pace I'll be a full month back by christmas... must. step. it. up.

I think the main thing is I have really lacked inspiration. I'm in the drone of end of semester tests and papers and in the midst of major summer planning. Working a lot... not much time to pontificate... ugh. I apologize. It is late now, so I am not going to spend time on it now... but I ASSURE you after church tomorrow I'll give this some time.
until then...

daily reading plans

This is just cool.
There are over 20 Bible reading plans and you can customize them to be the length you need for continued success... There are accountability tools, tools to share what you have read, and even tools to put them on your phone or PDA (like anyone uses those anymore...)
Very very cool:

http://www.youversion.com/about/reading-plans

more like crazy week...

Boy oh boy the weekend never lasts long enough and this week is action-packed!
It's Holy Week, that means Lent is over... I always regret not eating enough McFish about this time... They are quite delicious.
Anyway, I'm hoping to get some Holy Week thoughts on paper... err... internets... in the next couple of days, so watch out for those. :)
Today I played ball for the first time in easily a year. I started out hot... but fizzled fast. this out of shape thing is no good at all... regardless, good times with some good guys at sunday night hoops.
OK bed for me... have a blessed Holy Week!

it's good to be a Lutheran...

Well, this whole bla(g)h-ing every day thing has grown increasingly harder as time progesses. Currently, I'm in the middle of 36 awesome 8th graders in our Confirmation retreat. Good fun. Seeing as I don't have too much time, I've decided to allow you read the final point of my last paper on Baptism in Luther's Catechism... :) Lucky you.
So... Enjoy :)

V: The Meaning of Baptism for our Daily Life
What does baptizing with water mean? It means that our Old Adam with his evil deeds and desires should be drowned by death contrition and repentance, and die, and that day by day a new man should arise, as from the dead, to live in the presence of God in righteousness and purity now and forever.
Where is this written? St. Paul says in Romans, chapter 6, “We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”

The 13th amendment of the U.S. Constitution officially and completely outlaws slavery in our nation. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for those who in their lives had only known the bonds of slavery only to one day finally be set free. Thankfully, I’ve never known what it is like to be released from jail; to go from constrained to liberated. That is, I’ve never known that feeling in my physical life. At the age of 12 days, however, I was spiritually set free at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in St. James, MN. It was there, through the waters of baptism, that the Holy Spirit entered my heart and gave me new life in Christ Jesus. Just as a prisoner’s life is different after he is set free, so too our lives as Christians are changed after being set free from sin, death, and the Devil.
We have the ultimate comfort and peace in the assurances baptism gives us. “Thus we must regard Baptism and make it profitable to ourselves, that when our sins and conscience oppress us, we strengthen ourselves and take comfort and say: ‘Nevertheless I am baptized; but if I am baptized, it is promised me that I shall be saved and have eternal life, both in soul and body.’” (LC 4th, 44) “I’m but a stranger here”, the hymn states, and it is that very assurance that comforts us in the darkest of days. We know without a doubt that our eternal salvation was sealed on the cross and made ours through baptism. Romans 8 assures us that nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, and the faith that was gifted to us at our baptisms holds that assurance close to our hearts.
It is a daily struggle to live the sanctified life God calls us to live. “Day by day a new man should arise, as from the dead, to live in the presence of God in righteousness and purity now and forever.” Baptism isn’t a one-and-done kind of deal. Certainly, the act of baptism is only required once, as the Apostle’s Creed professes, but the work of living as Christ’s ambassadors is a daily task. It is a constant struggle between grace and pride. Paul says,
“For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:15-19, 24-25)

Daily contrition and repentance is the mark of a person of faith. The terror of true contrition concerns our relationship with God. We often are sorry, not for our sin, but rather that we got caught, as it were. We repent not because we humiliated before our perfect God, but rather we are upset we hurt someone or ourselves. True repentance is not about what sin does to us, but what it does to our relationship with God.
The Small Catechism defines repentance as, “A ‘change of mind’ about one’s sin. The Bible uses this word in two senses: 1- sorrow over sin and desire to stop sinning; 2- sorrow over sin and faith in the forgiveness of sins” (346). We need to have a genuine and deep-felt terror of that which separates us from our God followed by an indisputable sorrow because of it. For a Christian, that terror and sorrow leads you to the cross. How lonely and desolate we are without Jesus! If it had not been for His sacrifice on Calvary, we would be the epitome of despair.
Our desire to live a new and holy life is renewed daily. “All of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” (Gal 3:27) Since we are clothed in Christ, His “love compels us… He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.” (2 Cor 5:14,15) “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Truly our very lives are to be as thank-offerings for the blessings that we received at our baptisms: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Rom 12:1) May this be our prayer now and forever—to honor God with our thoughts, words, and actions in response to the awe-inspiring gifts bestowed upon us at our baptisms.

MADNESS!

OH man, that Xavier game really messed up my study time... ha! This year's NCAA has been phenominal! Very fun to watch!
OK back to work. big day tomorrow and this weekend is the 8th grade confirmation retreat... 32 8th graders... oiy.

mmhmmm

WOAH I'm 6 posts behind this month! I really have to break up my posts, I think. That last one could take up at least 5...
SO I'm in a class that examines Eastern thought in our society, it's all very interesting, but most of it is pretty obvious and not really all that alluring.... but we've been talking about Thich Nhat Hanh and his idea of consciousness- deliberately doing everything you do and being aware of everything around you... so like when you wash the dishes, make it the most important thing you can possibly do. You don’t wash them to get them done, rather you wash them to wash them and to go through that important ritual…. Essentially everything is a ritual and every task is beneficial… it all sounds kinda wonky, I know, but I think there might be some good in it too. I guess I'm going to carefully tread over to his book "the Miracle of Consciousness" and see if there's anything that I can in good conscience garner and apply to my life...
I'll keep you updated.

OK happy Thursday to you all!

When I Grow Up....

Let me begin by apologizing to those handful of you who faithfully check this bla(h)g each and every day. I don’t know what you’re looking for exactly, but if its profound wisdom and insight, I hope you’ve realized by now you won’t find it here. Regardless, there have been some musings and ramblings on this here piece of the interwebs that I have been actually pretty proud of, and I hope they have been enjoyable to you as well. Having said that, my apology is for not really writing with much effort or regularity over the past couple of weeks. I’m in the middle of the end of the “busy season” when it comes to getting information and planning and meetings out of the way so that the fun summer and fall stuff can go on without a hitch. In other words I’m busy with busy work. Not that it’s an excuse to not bla(h)g- I still find time to pwn n00bz in COD regularly- but it is an explanation for the lack of motivation, maybe. I don’t want to say I’ve run out of ideas to write about… but I’ve temporarily run out of good ideas, at least. So tonight I will answer the age old question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

When I was a lad I wanted to be several things. I recall having a deep affinity for the idea of being an over-the-road trucker for a while. I loved construction trucks, and like a good boy I wanted to drive bulldozers and backhoes. My grandpas are both woodworkers, and my dad can fix and construct the most delicate things- even with his big bear hands. You would think that I would have at least a shred of that sort of talent in me… but, alas, I do not. I am an abstract thinker and an abstract creator. I can’t draw to save my life and when I was a lad I had all the cool tools and even a construction belt, but a woodworker I was not. I wanted to be one, however. I’m pretty sure I also wanted to be a GI Joe and a Transformer. Maybe a transforming GI Joe… that would be useful to the US Military, I’d think… I had an awesome karaoke machine that also recorded, so I’d do radio broadcasts all the time. I’d pretty much do just news stuff, I think and then throw in some songs from my sister’s cassette tapes. I guess I wanted to be a DJ. I would spend hours in my room creating these masterpieces that I don’t think anyone ever listened to. My voice was high… very high, and if these tapes still exist, the listener could indeed die of laughter. I think my sister has at least one of said tapes in her possession today. Her house just had a mild flood. I can only pray the tape was destroyed in it. I don’t really recall too many other ambitions as a youngster.

I can’t remember ever saying or thinking that I would be a pastor, but I had a pulpit in my basement and I had an old dress that looked like a Geneva Gown that I would wear and I would throw down some fire and brimstone to the good people of Burke Avenue. I remember being outside and “preaching” at least a couple of times. I can’t imagine what the neighbors were thinking. John 3:16 was the typical text, I believe. I’m sure my homiletics were terrible. :)
I do remember, however, my dad giving me a little book that I still have somewhere that I’ve never read called “The Road Less Traveled”. It was about going into the ministry. He brought it home from one of his trips to the synod headquarters in Milwaukee. (Side note: one time when he came back from Milwaukee, he bought me a plaque with the Irish Traveler’s Blessing on it. He woke me up to give it to me. I can still remember him standing next to my top bunk and showing me and I was so pumped to get a gift. I still have that too.) He also put me on the Northwestern College (former pastor’s training school) mailing list when I was like 10. I had a seminary poster hanging in my room when I was in grade school. But I really don’t recall ever dreaming of being a pastor or anything.
When my brother was in high school he dropped Latin which made my parents upset because you needed Latin to go to Northwestern and be a pastor. My brother didn’t want to be a pastor and he didn’t like Latin (like every other normal person) so he dropped it. I deliberately took Latin (even though it’s a ridiculous choice of a language) as a freshman because I thought it would make my parents proud, but they never really said anything about it. I remember being pretty discouraged by that and by my sophomore year of high school any and all notion of going into the ministry was vehemently denied. My nemesis of sorts in high school was a fellow pastor’s kid and he would call me “reverend” to make fun of me. That’s how much I hated the idea of being a pastor… it was insulting. In a wonderful twist of fate, we were both youth ministers for 3 years and we had an awesome time going on retreats and planning youth stuff together. He’s moved on now to teach full time, but it was cool to be in the youth trenches with him.

Jurassic Park came out when I was middle school aged and that made me want to be a paleontologist. My buddy Terry worked at the science museum and got me a rock hammer and I wrote a bunch of university’s geological departments asking about places to go fossil hunting. I had a bunch of dinosaur books and was all about being a rock scientist. But we never went looking for fossils and my desire to uncover strange and exotic dead things soon became extinct (wordplay!!). I’m sure I wanted to be a teacher at some point. My 4, 5, and 6th grade teacher was the MAN and I still idolize him a bit. I’m sure I wanted to be like him for at least a little while. My 8th grade year book said I wanted to be a professional golfer. That is still a possibility, I suppose…

In high school I don’t really recall what my career ambitions were. I loved making videos and editing stuff and whatnot, so maybe it was something with that? By my senior year I wanted to be an acoustical engineer. Which would still be super interesting. I was all about looking for schools that had that program, but then I was talking to an engineer at my church and he told me it was all math based… so no acoustical engineering for me. Then I decided to go to Luther College and my “official” major (which is so lame to declare as a pampas 18 year old…) was music business. I wanted to open a music store, I guess… Again, that didn’t last long. I then went to community college and took some really cool classes dealing with drug and alcohol addiction, so for a while an addiction counselor was on the list. Then maybe a teacher again?
By age 21 or 22 I think I knew that the ministry was what I was cut out for. I love people and I love my Savior, and people with those two loves really have the duty and honor to put them together as a profession. I was living at home and working at the Olive Garden when my dad took me to a conference of some really cool church leaders (including my future bosses) and after spending those 2 or 3 days with my pops and the 130 or so pastors and lay-leaders I knew that it was what I wanted to do. People used to tell me at the Olive Garden that I should be a youth pastor, to which I scoffed because conservative Lutherans don’t “do” youth pastors. I vividly remember at least a dozen conversations with various people on how I should work with youth and my response was always I hate kids, and I want to be a “real” pastor. HA! You think God doesn’t have a sense of humor??
Needless to say I am a youth minister, but I don’t think I’m grown up. One of my gifts is also one of my biggest downfalls in that I am very interested in a lot of things. I’m a trivia nerd because everything interests me. Some (PARENTS!) perceive it as a lack of focus, but in reality it's a wealth of focus spread over a wealth of subject matter. I’m not a laser (concentrated light) I’m a halogen light bulb (light spread over an entire room). Ergo, discontentment is something that I have to battle.
I get pulled in a lot of directions because the idea of being involved in an industry or subject matter is so alluring. The music biz, for instance. I love music. I love concerts. I love making music and everything that goes along with it. To BE in the music industry would be AMAZING and fascinating and so very cool. But I also love film. I watch films, I make films, I appreciate cinematography and nuance and directing styles and lighting approaches… to be in the movie business… WOW! What a dream! I also love psychology. The brain fascinates me and the way that families impact our lives, and the trends and patterns what we as humans are subject to… MAN! I would LOVE to be an adolescent and family or an addiction and abuse counselor. And on and on and on… I also really enjoyed being a waiter. Truth be told, if I knew I could make like 3g’s a month (plus benefits, of course…) waitering consistently, I’d do it for 40 years.
You see my problem here… I don’t think I need to forget about all these things and just do what I’m doing for the rest of my life. I think the paradigm of working the same job for 35 years and then retire at age 65 is done. My generation likes change and fluidity. The average person my age will have had 5 significant career changes in their lifetime. …just sayin’ is all…

So that brings me to today. I AM a youth minister. I get to share the Gospel with kids who are making daily decisions that will forever impact their lives, whether they know it or not. I get to hang out with the most tremendous teenagers… I call them “my kids” in everyday conversation. Every once in a while I get, “are you married?” or “how many kids do you have??” The reality is, though, I love these kids like they are family. I had no idea what kind of impact these silly, awkward, wide-eyed kiddos would have on me when I started 5 years ago. I get paid to have fun. Just tonight I dominated in laser tag, made a deal for 31 tickets (ended up being a bad deal, my case had 75), and lost in putt-putt with 34 jr. high kids who look up to me more that I can ever appreciate. And the bro’s… honestly, I wouldn’t still be doing what I am doing if it wasn’t for the wonderful relationship I have with a handful of now college kids whom we affectionately call “the bro’s”. They are absolutely phenomenal kids that impress and inspire and make me so proud in everything they do. If I was to enumerate my blessings, “the bro’s” would be top 10. for real. Not to mention the families that I’ve been welcomed into. I’m considered the 4th kid in a family that I love as if I’ve knew them since birth. So so so amazing!!!!!!!! When I started, a woman whom I affectionately called “mom” whilst in high school gave me a little laminated sign that was printed on a dot-matrix printer probably 25 years ago that says:

"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what
kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in the bank...but the world may
be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child." -- Forest
Witchcraft

Wow. I get to make a difference… may I never EVER lose sight of how powerful a charge that really is.
I’ve started this sentence ten times, but I honestly cannot put into words how truly blessed I am to know these kids and families that I work with each and every day. I could go on for 20 more pages, but we’re all tired of reading at this point. SO, what do I want to do when I grow up? Not sure. But I know that what I’m doing now is the most important, fantastic, incredible, marvelous thing I could be possibly doing. And whether it shows or not, I am so very grateful to our loving God for giving me the privilege of sharing His love personified with His children each and every day, and I am humbled to think that I am even close to being worthy of such an awesome task.

One Thing Needful

Today I did the kiddie message at church and I had a bunch of stuff like my keys and wallet and cell phone and I asked the kids, "is the the most important thing?" and they all shook their heads to everything... so finally I asked, "what IS the most important thing?"and a little boy cocks his head and looks at me and just says in the most matter of fact way, "well... Jesus". I was waiting for a "duh!" but it never came.
It was so awesome. These kids got it- Jesus IS the most important thing- He's the ONLY thing, and that group of 6 or 8 kids knew what I so often lose sight of... thanks rurgrats!

Man, I get paid to share Jesus each and every day... awesome.

hmm

well, i'm spent... normally I'd put a quote or some song lyrics here when i have nothing to say, but i'm too tired... :)
so... have a great sunday!

"When we step into the family, by the act of being born, we do step into a world which is incalculable, into a world which has its own strange laws, into a world which could do without us, into a world we have not made. In other words, when we step into the family we step into a fairy-tale."
-GK Chesterton

bummer.

Well I found out today I have a semester of 17 credits left... commuting 75 miles each way Monday through Friday... I'm more bummed that I have all summer to sort of stew about it, really. If they told me it starts tomorrow then great lets go... but I have 5 months before it even starts and that's going to be the worst part...
oh well. que sarat, I suppose.
Softball starts soon and I hit the cage today. I got a feelin' its gonna be a goooood year! :)
Also, my March Madness bracket is totally busted thanks to Vandy losing in the last second.
bummer.

OH and I decided to make my grandpa's AMAZING goulash for my volunteers. Sometime during Holy Week I'm taking over a member's house and I'm cooking for like 15 people. To honor Grandpa Joe and to show the world what REAL goulash is. It should be good!

Well, that's all that is new for me. :)
nighty night world!

if you ain't first, you're last...

I love books. Well, I love to own books. I have a ton of them. I’m pretty proud of my collection, really. I think it’s pretty eclectic and high quality, naturally. The problem is 90% of the books I own I’ve never read. I most likely started most of them, but I rarely finish a book. I know I’m not alone in this, but it is something that frustrates me. If I don’t get hooked in the first couple of chapters, it’s doneskis.
Well, I finished a book today. It’s called My Footprint by Jeff Garlin. It’s about his crusade to loose weight and be more green in his life. I saw him on the Jon Stewart show a couple weeks ago and when I heard him talking about his book I thought that perhaps it would be interesting as I am interested in the same things… well, not really the green part, not that I don’t want to be green, its just that it is not on my top 5 of my “things to better me” list…
Regardless, I went to Barnes and Noble the day after I saw him and I realized I didn’t know his name or the name of the book. So I went to the counter and said I was looking for a book by a comedian who is fat and doesn’t want to be that way anymore. I got several blank stares. Do you ever find anyone working at B&N (as I call it) who doesn’t just LOVE books? I think they are all Library Science majors or something because basically every single employee I have come into contact with has been rather homely (or mousy… you know, like a librarian… no offense to you book people out there…) and almost frightened of my gregarious nature… anyway, one kind employee started Googling stuff and I kept on trying to give more clues. I knew he was in Daddy Day Care and on HBO… finally a kind passerby heard us talking and actually gave me the book I was looking for. He said he highly recommended it. Its just one big book club, Barnes and Noble…
So I got it and I started reading it right away. I was hopeful. I was optimistic that Jeff would unlock in me the desire and impetus to change. There are lots of things I would like to change about myself. We all have those things, I’m sure. I need to be more tidy, less cluttered, I need to budget my time and money much better, I need to spend more time in the Word, spend more time for others rather than myself, I need to eat better, and exercise regularly and on and on… I know these things, I even sort of fantasize about putting them into practice… but much like the books I start… well, you know…
But this book was going to reach me…It started off promising. He uses a ton of foul language for no real reason, but besides that it is a funny, interesting book. He struggles with food. He eats to comfort and soothe. I admire the way he is able to talk about such things. Even typing this makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t know why, but I don’t particularly enjoy talking about my eating health and habits. Quite honestly, I probably have as much confidence in my body as a high school girl. I’ve always been big and jolly, but I’ve always wanted to be slight and pensive… bah.
Nonetheless, with heart disease and diabetes in my genetic makeup, I really should be more aware of what I put into my body… but how do I get motivated? It’s taken 10,000 days to get stuck in my ways (to quote Bebo Norman)… that’s what I hoped to get out of My Footprint, but Jeff turned out to be a vulnerable human just like me. He failed time and time again. But he’s still trying- battling his addiction to food. That is inspirational, but I didn’t read the last page and go on living with a new resolve to be healthy. It wasn’t like I finished watching Rudy and wanted to play football, or like I was at the end of Saving Private Ryan, calling the Army recruitment office… none of that, just… disappointment.
But then I think it’s silly for me to look to a book written by a comedian to find the impetus for me to live as I should: responsibly and healthy. I know its silly, but I still am without that drive… Alcoholics reach rock-bottom and that prompts major change… Well, I don’t drink much (thank God), and its hard to hit rock-bottom when it comes to what you eat. I don’t really binge, I don’t even really eat all that much… its just I eat the wrong things (because they’re easy) and I partake in very little physical activity outside of turning on my Xbox and walking to/from my car…
I was talking to my guy TK today; he’s training for a marathon and wants me to join his gym with him. I want to, I really do, but I know it’s just a waste of money because I won’t go. I’m good at finding valid excuses to not do stuff. I can rationalize anything away with needing “me time” or “a good nap”. As I was talking to him, though, I opened up a bit and told him I need to change a lot more than just my eating habits and exercise regime, when it dawned on me that I’m making the problem too big. Are there a lot of things about me that I would like to be different? Yes. Do I need to make significant changes in my life if I wish to continue living and not just surviving? Absolutely. Do I need to do them all tomorrow? No. That’s what I need to realize.
When a person goes to alcohol treatment, they don’t worry about their smoking habit- its one thing at a time. You get sober first, and then worry about getting some Nicorette.
For whatever reason, I’ve lumped all my deficiencies into one big category of “needs change” and when I consider working on one, they all rear their ugly heads. Overwhelmed, I address none... and then I eat to make myself feel better for not changing... I need to take it one day at a time, one issue at a time in order to make any sort of positive strides. The fact of the matter is, I’ve filled my life with things that are all consistent with treading water. I had to tread water for 4 minutes to get my SCUBA certification in Thailand. I’ve never been so frantic. My arms and legs were going a mile a minute just to keep my chin above water. I didn’t go anywhere, see anything, and the amazing beauty of the tropical islands around me were inconsequential- all I could focus on was not dying.
Lately, I’ve been so consumed with not drowning in the demands and stressors (mostly self-inflicted) of life, that I haven’t been living, rather I’ve just been not dying… you know? There’s more to that metaphor, I’m sure, but I’m all tapped out at the moment… The bottom line is this: admitting you have a problem is the first step. So...
I have a problem with food.
eek.
Now what?

Top 7200...

The past couple of weeks have been an amazing musical adventure for me. I have discovered amazing bluegrassy bands like Avett Brothers, Mumford and Sons, and The Low Anthem. I’ve really started to love fantastic singer/songwriters like Tom Waits and Mark Heard. I got new CD’s from Kina Grannis and Sanctus Real that are quality. I even got a two-part country mix-tape to work through. So cool! I was in a place that I was sick of my tunes and I needed a change. A change I got, let me tell ya! I love rediscovering stuff that I have on my iPod. I’m shuffling through all my 7200 songs. I’m currently on #745. As I’ve gone through them, I’ve added at least 20 new songs to my top rated list. All good things.
NOT ONLY THAT, but as I was shuffling through my iPod I came across some lectures that I bought from the last youth workers convention I went to in San Diego. I bought 10 of them I think, and I never listened… until today. I listened to one twice it was so good. They’re like 2 hours long, but man I had to go back and re-listen. The thing is though, I have no idea who the dude is! Ha! Regardless, he’s amazing and has really given me some cool new ideas.
Every once in a while I get bummed when I hear a song and think, “MAN! I have THIS song?” I get bummed because it’s like I’ve been missing out on loving that tune because I was too lazy or busy to listen to it when I first got it. Then again, my musical tastes have changed so much over the years, not knowing what I really have on my iPod is like searching for treasure. If I ever get bored with my oft listened songs, I can go exploring for new tunes that are just laying undiscovered… good times. NOT ONLY THAT, but my Pandora channel is bluegrass and is absolutely perfect. Pandora might be the greatest thing invented in the last 9 years.

WHAT I LEARNED TODAY: Lincoln’s body was stolen from his grave. True story. Watch the History Channel… crazy fascinating story.

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT GOD TODAY:
Day by day, at home, away,
Jesus is my Staff and Stay.
When I hunger, Jesus feeds me,
Into pleasant pastures leads me;
When I thirst, He bids me go
Where the quiet waters flow.

verification box

Last week as I was buying my tickets for the Labor Day weekend of Dave Matthews Band and Ben Harper shows in Seattle (I’m so stoked!!), I had to enter in a verification code. You know what I’m talking about, right? The box with the random words that are kind of skewed and you enter them in the box below in order to combat against spammers and whatnot. Well the two random words I got were “Emmanuel Detached” true story.

My first reaction was, “Wow, ‘Emmanuel’ is an odd word for a verification box!” But then I started to think about what that phrase means. “Emmanuel detached” is an oxymoron, really. Emmanuel means “God with us”; it is the opposite of detached. It screams God is attached to us! He longs to be with us and near us and among us! He loves us and desires to know us intimately- insomuch as He would take on human flesh and become fully man. He ate, drank, slept, cried, and laughed just like you and me. And He did it so we would be freed from the chains of sin and eternal death! That’s not a God who’s detached, rather it’s a God who is love. He longs for us to be in communion with Him, reflecting His love in our thoughts and words and actions, and through faith we know He is literally living within us, not by our thinking or choosing, but by the power of the Holy Spirit though the water and Word of baptism. Totally unbelievable, if it wasn’t absolutely true!
God became flesh and made His dwelling among us… so that I don’t have to be burdened with guilt or sin or the worry of death… wow.
…more thoughts on this later…

in transit

I'm on the road all day and I can't figure out how to post from my phone... so I leave you with this:

When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.
If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone. "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well

-Frederick Buechner

it looks like a mitten.

Well friends… I’ve had a billion ideas in this head of mine, but I’ve been mostly unmotivated to write for some reason. This is only my 70th post, and I’m already fatigued… I gotta snap out of it!! 299 posts remain! (also, 294 shopping days ‘till Christmas.)
So yesterday I departed Michigan. I drove the 11 or so hours straight through and it felt good. I love driving. I really really really love road trips. Someday I’d like to take like a month to just drive around and stop at all the fun and campy roadside attractions… lots of people backpack around Europe… well I’d like to road trip around the US. Maybe start with Route 66… pipedream, probably…
So I was in Michigan for the first time since I took an awesome group of high schoolers to Toronto on a mission trip four years ago. We stayed in East Lansing on the way home at a low-cost hotel chain. (I don’t want to say the name, but there’s 365 of them Inn a year… if you catch my drift) SIDENOTE: check out the comment on my Qwest diatribe… too funny!
Anyway, we’re at this hotel in Lansing and it is the WORST. Ghetto doesn’t even begin to describe this joint. We were on the 5th or 6th floor- all to ourselves. The lights were out in the hallways, the beds messed up and there was blood YES BLOOD on the lampshade in my room. We had 2 rooms- girls in one, the boys in the other. I honestly have never prayed so hard knowing that the girls- all under age 17 were in the room across the hall all alone… it was a scary place. I was so put off by this experience that I wrote a letter. Actually, I wrote 3 letters. One to the manager, one to the franchise owner, and one to the president of the company. I still have a copy somewhere, I’m sure… I never heard back from the president. The franchise owner said he gets a ton of complaints about that particular location and would look into replacing the management. The manager called me. He was mad that I was unhappy. He basically called me a liar and said that I was never in any danger. Eventually he took my address and promised to make it right. 3 weeks later I received a $20 gift certificate to be used at a future stay. It expired in 90 days. BLOOD ON THE LAMP SHADE… and I got 20 bucks off… doesn’t seem right. Needless to say, I’ve never even considered staying at that hotel chain since.
Thankfully, last night’s stay was much more enjoyable and my general disposition toward Michigan might be once again almost favorable… maybe.

TODAY I LEARNED how important fog lamps and white lines on the highway are. I would not have made it home last night had it not been for them.

TODAY I LEARNED ABOUT GOD: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT)

home.

home. loooong, foggy drive, but i made it! horray! :)
more later... but now... sleep.

'Tis a fine line 'tween funny and... not.

So I’m reading this book by Jeff Garlin called My Footprint it’s good. It has struck a chord with me that I didn't expect. I think I’ll talk about it more later. I’m thinking…hoping… it’ll spark a pretty significant and important change… that’s for another time…
TODAY I read a couple pages about sarcasm. Jeff Garlin is a comedian. He writes/produces/directs Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO. He’s also in movies- like Daddy Day Care and he’s the voice of the Captain in Wall-E. He’s a funny man. But he HATES sarcasm. He says this about sarcasm, “I do not enjoy sarcasm. In fact, I’m leading a charge against sarcasm. Sarcasm is one of the easiest forms of humor, requiring no comedic talent whatsoever. All you have to do is say the opposite, with a tinge of sarcasm in your voice and you’re off to the races. You’re not being clever or funny, you’re being sarcastic… Don’t ever do sarcasm with kids. They need to know when you’re being serious.”

I think this is good advice. I am so often guilty of cheap and pathetic sarcasm. And I think it cheapens me. I like to think of myself as quick-witted and kinda funny at times, but so often (too often) I rely on sarcasm to keep the chuckles going. People whom I've known for a while know when I’m serious and when I’m not. But in my profession and at my stage of life I should be much more approachable- it shouldn’t be just those who know me well that “get me”. Sarcasm preys on people. It makes people look silly or gullible in order to get a laugh. It also confuses people and I think I’m in much to important and delicate position to have someone confused or alienated because they didn’t understand that the large, loud man laughing with (at) them was actually kidding.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I crossed too many lines too often. Some people are so sarcastic they never stop and you can never ever have any sort of a serious conversation with them. I’ve found that those are also the people who will vocalize loudly and often how they have a serious side and they are indeed responsible… what they don’t understand is everyone is so sick of them that they don’t want to hang around long enough for the fog of sarcasm to subside. I don’t think I’m that guy. I hope and pray I’m not that guy. I think I maybe used to be him, but I am no longer... I hope... I am, however, one who gets nervous around awkward situations and nothing breaks up awkwardness like a good laugh- so I go for the easy zing… which is often found in sarcasm.

Regardless of the reasons why I revert to sarcasm, I will now make a conscious effort to avoid it- especially when dealing with kids and always when working with someone who is new. I don’t want to put people off because my humor is belittling and cheap. I need to be cognizant (is that really how you spell that word??) of the power of first impressions and the off-putting nature of trying too hard to be quippy. This is going to take some time to get used to… but I will no longer rely on sarcasm… starting tomorrow.

Having said that, I will always be sarcastic with my dad. I feel like that’s “our thing”. My dad can be really sarcastic, and sometimes it’s kinda annoying, but usually it is funny and you come to expect some sort of quip in conversation. I always try to keep up with him. There are few things more gratifying than making my dad laugh. He gets sarcasm and enjoys it, so around him… it’s on. Also, “For a Point”, you’re grandfathered in too. :)

TODAY I LEARNED: there is no “i” in sarcasm. “sarcasim” seems so right, yet is so very wrong.

TODAY I LEARNED ABOUT GOD: Friends are friends forever if the Lord’s the Lord of them.

Thanks, Rog'!

I just got back from the AMAZING Avett Brother's show in Ann Arbor, MI. Absolutly fantastic. And the openers, the Low Anthem... so so so good! good times!
The Avett Brothers played this cover and I really liked it. So here it is for YOUR enjoyment:

WHERE HAVE ALL THE AVERAGE PEOPLE GONE by Roger Miller

The people in this city call me country,
Because of how I walk and talk and smile.
Well I don't mind them laughing in the city,
But the country folks all say I'm citified.

The fighting men they say that I'm a coward.
Because I never push no one around.
Gentle people call me trouble-maker,
Cause I'll always fight and stand my ground.

Funny I don't fit.
Where have all the average people gone?

Some pious people point and call me sinner,
Because to them I've never seen the lights.
Other folks think of me as a preacher.
I'm just doing what I think is right.

The wealthy people think that I am a hobo,
Lean and hungry, writing mournful songs.
And the poor, poor people think I am a rich man,
But really, I'm just trying to get along.

It's funny I don't fit.
Tell me where have all the average people gone?

And the government has given me a number,
To simplify my birth and life and death.
And still my woman thinks I'm awful important,
Like the moon and the sun and the sea and the sky and breath.

Yes, it's funny I don't fit.
Where have all the average people gone?
Honey I don't fit,
Where have all the average people gone?

bing again!

Today a combination of driving for 5 hours and watching the Oscars has inspired me to finally write a screenplay. I have 3 ideas. one whimsical, one heavy, one coming of age. All of them starring me. haha ok maybe not... but I think it would be cool to actually write a screenplay.

I love movies. love. movies. and I often think in terms of how it would look on the big screen (does that make sense?) When I think of a story I don't think of it as a book or as pictures or art or whatever, I think of what it would look like if actors were playing the parts. maybe that makes me weird. that's what working at Hollywood Video for a couple of years will do to ya, I guess... regardless (or... irregardless, perchance?)
I have had an idea (the heavy one) for a screenplay in my head for a good long time and a person who used to be very near and dear to me gave me a notebook (without lines!) in which to write it. But, alas, years later its pages remain empty. I hope to change that soon. I'm going to take on a writing partner- someone who is super creative, skilled, and gets excited about big projects. I think together we can make it work. I even have an idea on how. ha! I'm an idea guy, what can I say?

Speaking of the Oscars... I'm pumped that Avatar didn't win best picture- SO not worthy of said honor. I was pulling for Morgan Freedman... Christoph Waltz was absolutely genius, and Steve Martin is the funniest man alive. Also, the pretentious woman who won for best costume design was so very rude and disgustingly pampas, I’m just glad she is a Brit… whatever that implies… I appreciated the guy who encouraged kids to continue in their creativity and keep on making art- right on sound guy or digital effect dude… whatever he was- he’s an Oscar winner, and that means something.

So yeah, a screenplay is in the works. Watch out Hollywood! :)

Shelter From the Storm

I haven't quoted lyrics for a while... so let's throw down some Dylan.
I heard this song for the first time on the show "Th Riches". SUCH a great show! sadly it was cancelled due to the writer's strike, but man was it awesome... anyway, here's some goodness from Hibbing's finest:

'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail,
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, got my signals crossed.
Just to think that it all began on a long-forgotten morn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love.
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation an' they gave me a lethal dose.
I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine.
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

your "spirit of service" is poor.

This is the 21st century… and when you’re upset in the 21st century you take to the blogs.
I detest Qwest. OH MAN do I detest qwest. Let me tell you why.
1- I was promised a $50 gift card (which is just a credit on your bill) when I started with Qwest. I never received it. So the very nice man gave me the credit and then told me as retribution, he’d give me premium long distance for free. Whatever. I don’t use my phone ever, but fine give me something free, I’ll take it. Thanks.
WELL the next month there was a $10 charge on my account. It turns out there’s long distance taxes and whatnot, so I was charged for them. I called Qwest told them to take it off- they apologized- even refunded the tax charge and all was well…
UNTIL the next month when there was a $30 long distance CANCELLATION FEE!!! Unreal! So I call them and they say they’ll do me the one-time courtesy of reversing the fee… the courtesy? I never wanted long distance! UGH. Anyway- all taken care of and things are OK for a couple of months… until:
2- my cell phone is bundled with my internet… totally fine, no problem… UNTIL last month my phone just stops working- no texting, calling, voicemail… nothing… which was a pain because I was waiting for 2 important phone calls… so I call Qwest (the only thing I could call was them…) and they are befuddled as to why my payment didn’t post the month prior- but they fully admit they were in the wrong. I was pretty indignant and demanded they would do something to make it up to me… so they offered me FREE LONG DISTANCE… I declined…
THEN 3 DAYS AGO-
3- I was happily playing Call of Duty online with some friends. Pwning n00bs like the geek I am… when my connection goes all wonky… Long story short(er) my internet kept cutting out thus causing me to lose my Xbox Live connection… So I call Qwest (which apparently is in India) “Jake” walked me through a litany of things to remedy the problem- eventually completely resetting the modem. He said that would make it better. It didn’t. I thought maybe waiting a day would make it OK. So yesterday I test it out and again it cuts out. I call India again and “Mary” does some more diagnostic things- all to no avail. So she orders a tech guy to come to my house. Today. Between 1 and 5pm. I made sure I was home from work… not online… waiting for the Qwest guy to come. But he never did. So I called India at 7pm to see what was up. “Derek” said in a very snotty voice that I needed to be patient and the tech guy was running late. OK fine. 9:30 still not internet, still no Qwest guy. SO I call India AGAIN!! This time I lose my cool- which isn’t good, I know… but MAN it is so frustrating. This time the guy tells me the Qwest guy showed up and was told to come back tomorrow… not sure what to make of that… either he’s a liar or he went to the wrong house… either way I’m without internet. I ask for a supervisor… He told me what I wanted to hear and supposedly someone’s coming tomorrow morning. He promised he’d do something to make it up to me. If he offers me free long distance my brain might explode.
SO here I wait… if you Google “I Hate Qwest” it’s like 132,000 results. I hope this is the 132,001st. man I really wish I didn’t need internet… I can’t stand Comcast, and Qwest is even worse… what am I to do? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Travel Channel Fear

I fear that the guy on Man vs. Food is going to have a heart attack on camera. That would be both sad and awkward. He honestly downs more carbs than Michael Phelps in an Olympic year... sick, yet strangely super fun to watch...

au de toilette

WOW! I have been so stinkin’ delinquent the last three days!! No good! The fact of the matter is its midterms and papers and tests abound, not to mention there are a some crazy, yet amazing things happening on the ministry front. Nothing is quite as fantastic as being able to share the Gospel with a hurting kid knowing full and well that their salvation is sure and sins forgiven through the blood of Jesus. Comfort and hope, people… comfort and hope. REGARDLESS, those are not excuses for three days of non-posting! I will do my best to catch up!

A funny thing happened to me on Friday. I needed a grey shirt to wear under my sweater. I was running a tad late so I just grabbed the first grey shirt I could find. I was one that had been sitting on the top shelf of my closet for probably a year- in the back corner ignored by me. I spotted it took it and threw it on before hastily putting on my sweater and running out the door. It didn’t take me too long to realize something was terribly arye. Apparently as my grey shirt sat sadly in the top corner of my super sweet 9x9 walk-in closet, it rested atop my Glad Fresh air freshener, Mountain Breeze scent, if I’m not mistaken. Needless to say, my lowly gray shirt had become a conduit of the odorous fragrance. At first it was kind of pleasant. I smelled a little girly, but certainly not horrific. It is better to smell of a female than to smell of a trash heap, that’s what I always say (that’s a lie, I’ve never said that in my life…). But before long my eyes were a bit watery, my nose kinda stuffed, and a litany of sneezes welled up from my very bowels. Within an hour I was drunk with Mountain Breeze, and sickened by it’s essence. All day people around me commented on my aromaiffic nature. Some sentiments were positive. Things like, “ooh you smell like my grandma’s bathroom” or “is that a new perfume?” Others were less than desirable. Like, “Who’s wearing a dryer sheet?” or “Why does it smell like a 98 year old woman in here?” Needless to say, I wasn’t the only one sickened by my smell.

The whole thing got me thinking, though. The wisest man I know, Norb, used to tell me that it was his goal for people to sniff Jesus on him. That everything he did and said would have the scent of our Savior attached to it. I always thought that was a really cool idea, and something I’ve tried to emulate (but miserably fail, truth be told). And then I thought of my overwhelming aroma on Friday. What kind of smell are we giving off to the world around us? What is the scent that we irradiate to our peers and co-workers? Is it sweet? Is it bitter? Is it kind and compassionate? Or, how often is it a smell that even we are sickened by? Certainly or goal shouldn’t be to merely satisfy the noses of the people around us. Just walk through a store- or a high school hall way- and you’ll catch wiffs of every perfume and flavor of Axe body spray ever made. Some are appealing, others are not. To the person wearing them, however, they must be appealing, lest they hopefully would not have shelled out the $49.95 a bottle of fragrance costs. Just because it smells good to the wearer, does not mean it smells good to the smeller.

That’s why our scent is for the scent Maker. Incense was used heavily in the Bible. In fact, God made His own blend and set it apart as holy-
Ex 30: 34 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Take fragrant spices—gum resin, onycha and galbanum—and pure frankincense, all in equal amounts, 35 and make a fragrant blend of incense, the work of a perfumer. It is to be salted and pure and sacred. 36 Grind some of it to powder and place it in front of the Testimony in the Tent of Meeting, where I will meet with you. It shall be most holy to you. 37 Do not make any incense with this formula for yourselves; consider it holy to the LORD. 38 Whoever makes any like it to enjoy its fragrance must be cut off from his people."
After Noah make his post-flood sacrifice, “The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done” (Gen 8:21). We, of course, don’t offer up burnt sacrifices anymore, but Romans 12 tells us, ” Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.” It is our great honor that our lives would be the sweet smell of the Lord- to God and to those around us. 2 Corinthians 2:14-15a, “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ.”

Such a powerful picture! Just as I want my scent to be appealing to the people sitting next to me, how much more do I want the sacrifice that is my life to be appealing to my God? And thanks be to Him that through Jesus I smell sweet! It was through the sacrifice of Christ, the Lamb of God that I have a God-pleasing aroma. And now I have the wonderful task of being sweet incense in a foul-smelling world! May I reek of Jesus in all I think, say, and do.