a thankful monologue

Do you ever spend time pontificating the amazingness of our existence?  I mean not only do I live in this beautiful country, but I also get to live in the suburbs in a great state very comfortably.  I was raised in a wonderful family, was able to go to private schools throughout my education, was given the given the gift of faith and parents who watered it daily.  Not only that, but I’m in the 21 century- where innovation and technology is growing at bananas pace and I have the entire world at my fingertips.  No piece of information is further than a click away.  Crazy.  Sure, we’re in a recession and my house’s resale value is nil, but holy moly- I quite literally lack nothing… well, I could use a new pair of Keens… but… my thirst for shoes is quite insatiable.

It is downright mind-blowing to think that of the billions of people who have lived on this earth, I’m the only one who has my job in my town in this house with these friends and family, etc. It is just nutty.  I am drowning in blessings- I can do nothing but breathe in the goodness of God. 

So I thought it apropos to list a blessing for every kernel of corn on my plate… and maybe a couple more…

Gracious God, Heavenly Father

The Headwater to the river of blessings that overwhelms me each and every day-

I am grateful for your loving kindness.

Your gentleness, your patience, your relentless forgiving and your consuming grace.

I am humbled by your love and your desire to have a relationship with me.

You sent your one and only son to live, breath, eat, sleep, laugh, cry, die and rise so that I might be one with you through His holy and precious blood.

You did that for me.

It seems that words aren’t enough, but tonight they’re all I have.

Thank you Lord.

Thank you for life.

For the air I breathe

The food I eat

The water I drink

Who am I that you would provide these things in abundance daily?

I am not worthy of your mercy.

Thank you for death.

For it is in death that we are returned to you in perfect glory.

Because of your Son death is not some veiled unknown, rather it is a homecoming where we are welcomed eternally into your loving, nail-marked hands.

But we were created to live and not to die

So Lord let me treat each moment as what it really is:

A gift from you.

While you know the number of breaths I have left, I do not have such knowledge, so let me use each to bring you glory.

May my words bring encouragement and peace

May my presence bring joy

May my thoughts be focused on loving those whom you love

And my eyes focused on the cross.

May my hands bring blessings to others

And my feet the Good News to everyone I meet.

May You be at the center of my life,  oh Lord, until the day we meet face to face.

Thank you for my family.

We all know you, Jesus, and because of that our kinship is not just of this earth but also in the life to come.  This is chief of all blessings: to know we will share eternity.

You provided a home that was not perfect, that was not always peaceful, not always joyous, but it was a home that was built on the Rock. 

Thank you for parents who brought me to the waters of baptism.

Who were concerned with parenting me, not merely befriending me

Who set boundaries

Who disciplined me

And held me accountable for my actions
But in all things reflected you

I am who I am because of them, gracious God, and for them I am grateful.

In you all things are possible, so I pray that those homes that are broken-

Those families where children don’t feel safe

Where they go unfed and un-loved by their earthly parents

Where there is no peace, no boundaries, no grace-

Creator of the heavens and earth, I pray that you bring to them

Your peace

Your love

The stuff that passes understanding-

The safety of your goodness and mercy

The fullness of your redemption

Come quickly to help them

Heal them and restore them to you

You calmed the wind and the waves, so Lord please bring calm to the lives of those families enveloped in the storms of divorce, abuse, adultery, alcoholism, and every other rift-making device the father of lies uses.

Adonai, you have put people in my life that love, support, encourage, anchor, listen, care for, provide, pray for, and invest in me each and every day

Oh how shameful it is how often I take them for granted

It is haughty for me to ever feel alone or unloved-
Thank you for the amazing people of God that you have put in my life

Keep them close to your heart, oh Lord

May I always aim to be a blessing to them

And to let them know whenever possible how much of a blessing they are to me.

Lord make me quick to listen and slow to speak

That I could be for them what they have so often been for me.

Give me ears to listen

And wise, soft words to speak.

Lord you are close to the broken hearted

And you know those relationships that are strained right now.

Bring healing and restore peace to that which was not too long ago filled with joy, love, and closeness

You are able to do immeasurably more than I can fathom, oh God

I know this to be true

not my will, but yours be done.

Thank you for music, my Lord and my God. 

It is an amazing blessing given to us by you.

Your heavenly angels sang to announce your birth

How can I keep from singing?
Thank you for the gift of a musical heart

And for the outlet that it provides for me

It reminds me of you, Lord, music does-

I cannot see it but it fills me up

Just as you are invisible, but your benefits fill me to the brim and then some.

Thank you for your Word

I don’t mean to put this so far down the list-

But you- God- unimaginable, unthinkable, unfathomable-

God

you speak to us in your Holy Word

In books that collect dust

And prop up chairs

Sanctify me in the truth- your word is truth

Give me a thirst for the truth and make me always consciously aware of your Spirit living inside of me

Cause Him to stir within me the desire to serve you with gratitude and honor you with everything I think, say, and do

Make my words and desires actions.

Thank you, Lord.

There is so much beauty in this world, Precious Redeemer-

The mountains.  Oh, the mountains...

The oceans

Flowers that boom in season

Vegetables and fruits in their brilliant colors

The awesome muscular frames of tigers and panthers

The stripes of a zebra

The antlers of a moose

The gentle eyes of a horse

The songs of the robins

The enormity of a whale

The breathtaking sunsets

The films that cause tears

And the paintings that cause one to stand in pensive silence

The perfect symmetry of the human body

And the striking beauty of deep blue eyes

Orchestras that cause goose bumps

And the amazing worlds that CGI can take us

The thrill of a roller coaster

And the ability to savor memories through pictures

All these things are from you, Lord

And we are not able to express our gratitude.

Thank you for the internet

Where people can support and pray and share in joy and heartbreak

Where we can stay connected

Face to face

In real time.

And forgive us for the wretched use of such a wonderful gift, oh Righteous Judge.

Thank you for:

Jokes

Stories

Books

Songs

Games

Scrabble

Laughing

Pumpkin pie scented candles

Guitars

Memory foam beds

Live streaming tv shows

Blogs

Walks

Bros

Cars

Mousetraps

Secretaries

Quotes

Trivia

Medicine

Icebergs

Juicers

The post office

Roommates

Retreats

Trampolines

Camps

Camp counselors

Campfires

Camp directors

Democrats

Republicans

People who want to make money

People who want to give money away

Police and firemen

Military personnel

Our leaders and lawmakers

Safety

Freedom

Churches

Gyms

Schools

Vespers

Teachers

Pastors

Professors

Encouragers

Those who are hard to love

Hugs

A good pair of blue jeans

Track pants

Inner peace- the kind that only comes from you

Uncertainty- because it makes me realize you are changeless

Pilot Uniball Micro 207 pens:  Best. Ever.

College degrees

iPods

Amazon Mp3

Nashville

MacBooks

Jr vs Sr night with Tim

Coaches

Love

Wool socks

I just fell asleep for a second, so I’m going to wrap this up, Big Guy.

You are good.

You are holy.
I am a sinner in need of a savior.

Use me, God. use me.

Thank you for loving me, Abba.

Keep us steadfast in your Word.

Keep them safe- the ones you put in my life

Build around them a hedge of protection from the assaults of the evil one.

May my value be found the price you paid for me

And my wholeness be always rooted solely in you.

Day by day, your mercies, Lord, attend me,

bringing comfort to my anxious soul.

Day by day, the blessings, Lord, you send me

draw me nearer to my heav’nly goal.

Love divine, beyond all mortal measure,

brings to naught the burdens of my quest;

Savior, lead me to the home I treasure,

where at last I’ll find eternal rest.

Day by day, I know you will provide me

strength to serve and wisdom to obey;

I will seek your loving will to guide me

o’er the paths I struggle day by day.

I will fear no evil of the morrow,

I will trust in your enduring grace.

Savior, help me bear life’s pain and sorrow

till in glory I behold your face.

Oh, what joy to know that you are near me

when my burdens grow too great to bear;

oh, what joy to know that you will hear me

when I come, O Lord, to you in prayer.

Day by day, no matter what betide me,

you will hold me ever in your hand.

Savior, with your presence here to guide me,

I will reach at last the promised land.

In your mercy, Lord, hear my prayer.

A-Men

For whatever reason, Tuesday is quote day.
Yesterday I asked my buddy (via text) if he had time to hang out before he left for his next tour.  He replied in such a kind way I almost shed a tear.  A simple "sorry I don't have time, but I'll see you next month" was expected, but instead I received words of encouragement and affirmation.  It was awesome.
This morning I came across this quote-

“Here’s something you can do right now, right where you are, and you don’t even need a book to show you how: when that next person walks into your office, calls you on the phone, or sends you an email, stop to seriously ponder the question, “Why am I glad this person is on the planet?”
When you have the answer to that question, take it from your mind, put it into words, and give those words to that person.”
- Trey Pennington

I think I'm going to try that.  I now know first hand the boost it can give.  After all, as Plato said:  “Be kind.  Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

God Made You Special

My buddy Randall made a fantastic kid's album called Slugs & Bugs: Under Where?
It is really solid.
Here is a sweet lullaby from the album.  enjoy.

hmmmm

I don't know what happened to Tuesdays with Buechner... well, that's a lie, I do know what happened to it- I ran out of quotes and I haven't had the time (or desire, really) to read another of his books.  I have a couple more, but they're like 12 or 13 on the list....
BUT I was reading some stuff by an interesting fellow named Dr. Peter Kreeft.  He's a professor of philosophy at Boston College... pretty impressive! He's also a pretty wonderful apologist.  I don't know how much of his worldview I share, but I do enjoy this quote:
"The Resurrection sharply distinguishes Jesus from all the other religious founders.  The bones of Abraham and Muhammad and Buddha and Confucius and Lao-tzu and Zoroaster are still here on earth.  Jesus' tomb is empty.  The existential consequences of the resurrection are incomparable.  It is the concrete, factual, empirical proof that: life has hope and meaning; 'love is stronger than death'; goodness and power are ultimately allies, not enemies; life wins in the end; God has touched us right where we are and has defeated our last enemy; we are not cosmic orphans, as our modern secular worldview would make us."

good stuff- you can actually read his book for free here (how cool is that??):
 

just call me Mr. Knight

wellp- today was my first day of coaching JV girls bball at my alma mater.  Between you and me, I'm very overwhelmed.  I really wavered on taking the job, but after seeking the advice and the encouragement of several coach friends that I have, I decided to take the leap.  I'm not at total rookie.  I've run camps and I've had 3 middle school teams... I figure that strengths are the ability to inspire, my knowledge of the fundamentals, and my willingness to be patient with this young team.  But I'm nervous about running a practice.  There's so much to coaching that I just feel ill-prepared for.  I don't have a lot of plays in my back pocket and I just don't have the knack for drills that the coaches I admire have.  I will... all in good time.... Today, we made first cuts today and one girl cried... heartbreaking...
Alas, everyone that I've shared my concerns with have been very supportive and the girls are down right pumped to be on my squad.  I hope they're as enthusiastic come January.  My biggest thing is maintaining their confidence in me, you know?  I hate the thought of people sitting around saying, "He has no idea what he's doing..."  ugh.
I feel good about the team, though.  We're young, but we have decent size and a lot of speed.  We can run the fast break with ease, which is nice and we should out rebound every opponent... so, we'll see...  I'm just glad to have something to tackle.  This is a big challenge- one that will take a lot of work on my part- lots of research and preparation.  Not to mention time management and organization.  Most of all, this will require patience and stamina.  Its a 22 game season.  Every week night is booked until the middle of March.  Talk about a marathon.  But I'm pumped.  Also, I hate losing.  Especially if I know we're the better team.  Hopefully that will translate into wins.  I haven't been on the winning side of many teams in my life, so I have the intense desire to turn that tide. I just really want to prove myself worthy of this position that I'm honored to hold.  Winning is only half of it- personal growth from myself and my players is the other important piece...If you had fun, you won... right? :)

As of today we have a perfect season.  Here's to keeping the perfection alive...
I'll keep you posted. 

The sweetest part so far is the awesome team polo shirt I got. :)
I love team apparel. 

gts.

stained.

in recent news, a former skinhead named Bryon Widner has turned his life around. The evidences of his former sins of racism, however, were plastered all over his body in tattoos that clearly indicate his past. His sins are externally visible and he hated it. He would do anything to get rid of them and forgo his former lifestyle. His face, covered in tattoos with racist hate, was his greatest challenge and evidence of who he used to be. He wanted the tattoos gone. He was no longer that man. He even went as far as to consider taking acid and burning his face to beyond recognition to get rid of them. He would do anything.


Well, fortunately he didn't have to burn them off with acid. A kind donor offered to pay the $35,000 repeated tattoo removal surgeries. Bryon underwent 25 extremely painful laser surgeries over a period of 16 months to completely rid himself of his past which haunted his face everywhere he went. The procedures became so painful with burning, blistering, and severe swelling that Bryon had to be put under general anesthetic rather than being kept awake.


Ultimately, Bryon's surgeons successfully removed all the tattoos on his face and neck, leaving his face clean and without evidence of his former life. Though the rest of his body remains covered in ink, Bryon is slowly covering up his other racist tattoos as he is able.  Check it out:

You can read an extensive article here  And check out the promo for the MSNBC special that aired this past summer- you can see some of the pain he had to endure-


This whole story has my mind racing. What a picture of redemption, you know?  It reminds me of the real-life version of the powerful Edward Norton movie American History X.
I wonder what it would be like if every time we sinned it was like a facial tattoo.  I wonder if- knowing the pain- we'd be like... ok this one's not that bad... I can work with it... but then we'd do something or run our mouths or fall into something terrible and then we'd have to beg and borrow money and hope that it was enough to get rid of that REALLY bad stain... Can you imagine the miserable existence that life would be if we had to go through that pain and torture to remove them? What a world that would be.
And yet, in the spiritual sense deserve to that pain.  We deserve to have our sins laid bare for all to see.  For our insecurities and shortcomings to be tattooed on our foreheads and knuckles.  We should have to go through surgeries and blisters and torment in order to attempt to make them fade.  But we couldn't even come close.  Even after 25,000 procedures our sins would be just as crimson and numerous and bright.  No, when it comes to our hearts, there is no removal by worldly means.

Thanks be to God that our sin is cleaned by the righteousness of Jesus.  It wasn't $35,000, nor was it pain-free.  It cost Jesus His life by way of a humiliating criminal's death.  But for us it was a free gift.  Because of God's unimaginable grace and mercy that is beyond our understanding, our sins aren't tattooed on our foreheads for all to see, nor do we have to suffer and grit our teeth in pain in order for them to be removed.  No.  Jesus blood wiped them clean and removed them as far as the east is from the west.
But oh how we try to be noble and proud and manly.  We try so hard to "do the right thing" and make plans for us to rid ourselves of our sin.  It seems as if its all to easy-
look at the cross and my sins are gone?  no way!
I have to do SOMETHING!
What I did, it caused pain:
Feelings were hurt
Expectations weren't met
Friends were let down
Love wasn't shown
Grace wasn't given
Words cut deep
I have to pay for this!!
God, hurt me!  Make me blister like the words I fire off blister the hearts of those I spew anger toward
make me cringe like the people I leave in my wake cringe when i let them down
make me cry like those whom I fail to love cry
I have to do something to atone for this, God... right?

No.

Jesus paid it all.
all to Him I owe-
sin had left a crimson stain
He made it white as snow.

Wow.  Not to say there aren't scars.  We are sometimes left to deal with the messy situations that we make when we're left to our own designs.
But the sin, the guilt, the aftertaste- all of it was removed from my inmost being when my Savior bled and died.
He took it all.
How silly I must look to God when I try to do my own surgery.  When I find the acid of the world in the attempt to remove my own stains.  How offensive it must be to the Almighty to hang on to guilt and shame even though He is willing and able to shoulder all of it.  How sad it must be for Him to see me limit my view of the creator of the world by holding back and not allowing Him to have everything-
to have...
me.

He does have me.  He has me in the grip of His nail-marked hands.  And even though I think that I can keep things from Him, I can't.  He knows me in the secret, in my quiet place- and even though He sees that- the deep, dark, dungeon of the pits of my soul- He sees the worst yet He STILL loves me.
Even though I deserve a million times the pain that Bryon had to go through to remove his stains, I've been given robe of salvation.
So now, just as Bryon has a whole new lease on his stain-free life, how much more should we, as bought-back children of God live each and every day filled to the brim with inexpressible joy knowing that no one- not even God- can see our stains anymore because we are clothed in the sinless blood of the spotless lamb.
Wow.

it took seeing a skinhead's tattoos for me to realize that.

Lord come quickly.