mr. yuck.

Few things irk me more than people who feel as if they are entitled to things that they are not. There was a large family at my high school whose patriarch was a prominent teacher at the school. All the kids felt entitled to… well… everything. As a result they lacked friends. Or the kiddos I used to work with in inner-city Chicago… I was appalled at their false sense of entitlement they had when it came to things in the church and our time and the things we would give them. There was little patience, little desire to wait or ask; just an overwhelming spirit of MINE. Icky.
I used to eat lunch with a gal who would always tell me how she could do this and do that… she would get upset when someone else was chosen for a task that she deemed herself worthy of…. But I never ever saw any fruits of her work- only big talk about her potential. I couldn’t handle too much of her. (I know that sounds really bratty- but what can I say? It’s the honest truth…)
Sadly, this is how I’ve been acting lately. There’s this silly thing that I REALLY want to do, but I haven’t been asked to do it despite my best efforts and politicking… it is so frustrating! I’m frustrated that I haven’t been asked, but more than that, I’m frustrated that I’m mad that I’m not doing it… you know? Sometimes I just get puffed up with this false entitlement and get mad at the guy they got doing it and I look at him in anger and think, “that should be ME!” gross. That’s so silly! This is completely out of my control and if I am someday asked to perform this task, it will be based on merit and genuine desire, not lobbying and manipulating…
I remember a time when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I was riding home from school with my mom in our station wagon, and we had to drop off some kids that went to our church. I was all mad because my mom NEVER took highways and back roads and stoplights were then and still are the bane of my very existence. Well this particular day I was in rare cranky form- I can picture it like it was yesterday. We were driving past a cemetery I remember and I was yelling at my mom how stupid it was she never took the highway and I just screamed, “BUY ME A CAR!” My mom just paused and looked at me and replied calmly, “Son, you’re 14. What good would a car do you?” Indeed. Impatience and false entitlement… shameful.
I guess it comes down to the fact that I have blessed to have lived a very charmed life. Quite honestly, I haven’t’ been told “no” too often, so when something comes along that I want but simply cannot have, I get frustrated. Then terrible, blinding pride takes over… and that is not an attractive quality. Galatians 5 talks of the fruits of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Honestly, I think patience is the hardest one of those, and yet I think it might be one that speaks the loudest. Patience is such a rare and desirable quality, people notice when it’s displayed. There’s power in the art of waiting. Working with kids I see patience often, and I’m always in awe. We’ve been out sledding and we’re all starving- the pizza comes and the boys all mob the table taking and scratching and gouging… but there’s always 3 or 4 kids (usually female, let’s be honest…) that are just patiently waiting their turn… they know there will be plenty of food and they are in no hurry. (I hope they’re secretly judging their peers acting like Neanderthals in front of them… )
I do admire those kids, and honestly, I think of them when I find myself vying for position in a line or tapping my foot in disgust of the wait…
Patience and self-control… they go hand-in-hand, and the Lord knows I need extra rich measures of both.
Waiting is part of the Christian’s life- the Jews waited thousands of years for the promise to be fulfilled in Jesus- but when the time had fully come, God sent His Son. God’s time is not our time- It is my prayer and desire to be on “Kairos” more than I’m on “Koryros”. Kairos is loosely translated into “God’s time”… may I be focused on His timing and His desire for my life, not my short-sided and sinful longings… How fickle am I?? Seriously, of all people on earth certainly I would know that God has an awesome plan and the things I want are no where NEAR as cool as the things He has in store… I mean the job that I will have been doing for 5 years come June 1 wasn’t even a blip on my radar screen 5 years and 5 months ago… but God knew… and in “Kairos” it was made fantastically apparent to me that it was where I needed to be… As for the next chapter of my life… trust in Kairos… trust in Kairos… trust in Kairos.