One of the questions was, "Is it sometimes difficult for you to perform acts of kindness?" I thought that was an odd question, and yet I had to put yes. I mean I like to think of myself as a kind person, and I really really try to go the extra mile, but it is sometimes difficult for me to be kind to people. Whether its because I'm tired or cranky or because the person annoys me or has little to nothing to offer me in return, whatever the reason I sometimes treat kindness as a chore. Ugh that's just gross to articulate.
Its not like a conscious decision to not treat someone with kindness, or with less kindness than I would with other people. but after the fact if you really dissect the situation, I could have been nicer or could have done more, but didn't because of my own selfishness. That's what it comes down to: I'm too selfish to be concerned with your needs. no good.
In response to this disgusting realization, I am re-reading Max Lucado's Its Not About Me. It is a really well-written book that really gets to the heart of the issue that God is central in my life, and I get to reflect Him and His love in my actions, thoughts, and words. It's not about me. It's about the Savior inside of me, and it's about loving others around me... even if it makes me nervous, uncomfortable, or inconvenienced.
These are lofty words, I know. I can talk about going and loving the "unlovable" all I want, but it amounts to little more than trivial lip-service. The fact is, I unlove so many people every day, I don't have to change a single step of my routine and find opportunities to put others in front of me around every corner.
I think my biggest malfunction in this regard is expecting payment for my kindness. Not monetarily, but rather in relational currency. Something like I call you on your birthday, you'd better call me on mine... that kind of idea. I really need to work on that. Why am I giving you my time? Because Jesus gave us His life. It sounds so hokey and so cheesy, but man it's true. 1 John 4 tells us that we love because He first loved us. I don't think that it's a misuse of that verse to say we love others because He first loved us. Indeed, we wouldn't know what selflessness is if it wasn't first shown to us time and time again by our Redeemer.
If you haven't read Lucado's Its Not About Me, I cannot recommend it enough. It will take you 2 hours to finish, and it really brings the focus of our daily lives back where it needs to be: on Jesus.
If I may quote Lucado:
The last breath you took as you read that last sentence was given to you for one reason, that you might for another moment "reflect the Lord's glory" (2 Cor. 3:18). God awoke you and me this morning for one purpose: "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples" (1 Chron. 16:24).
"God made all things, and everything continues through him and for him. To him be the glory forever" (Romans 11:36). "There is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we exist for him" (1 Cor. 8:6 NLT).
Why does the earth spin? For him.
Why do you have talents and abilities? For him.
Why do you have money or poverty? For him.
Strength or struggles? For him.
Everything and everyone exists to reveal his glory.
Including you.
May God grant me the maturity to always keep that in mind when I find kindness to be a chore...
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