kapow!

hmmm... there are very literally dozens of things I could (and probably should) bla(h)g about right now... I don't know if I really want to dive in though.
Perhaps some random thoughts:
- God has put some amazing people into my life- wise, caring, insightful, Jesus-loving people.  I am humbled by them.
- The theme in my "deep" conversations with people (mentor-type people) over the past 6 months or so has been that I have amazing potential... I don't know if I should be offended if that implies that I'm not living up to it right now... And, the billion dollar question is what do I have to do to indeed not be a Ryan Leaf, but be a Payton Manning (10 bonus points if you understand that analogy).  Am I too old to be a Payton Manning? 
- Quote of the day: "Don't worry about money, God's got more than enough." 
- when looking at my heart, i see lots of scars... which causes me to pause.. finding happiness in the good memories, but then sad when realizing why they were wounds in the first place... But then I am overcome with a sense of hopefulness in that scars mean healing, and if it's healed before it'll heal again... I just have to hope that chicks really do dig scars. : )
- I hope to never be hopeless, I can only run out of toothpaste so many times...
- Not being in Chicago this weekend is a tremendous blessing.
- I wish i see what others see in me... i don't mean that to be self-depreciating, i just honestly don't... i'm just me... and thats typically pretty boring... eww that sounds so gross...
- "Create self es-teem through es-teem able acts" is worth living by (I separated that word, because the phrase is trademarked and I don't want to get sued...)
- perhaps i've been uukin poo nub (another 10 points for that reference) wrongly.
- There is a big difference between a 75 and 100 watt light bulb! so annoying.
- I hate not truly knowing my topic... this is seriously torturous...
- swimming pools and movie stars... could i really?
- I wonder if its possible to pray for the wrong things... and if that's the case does God not give you what you need because you're not asking for it?  Is part of God's working getting us to recognize what we need so that he will provide it?  Can one be any more confused when he doesn't even know what to pray for? 
- I'm reading a devotional by Max Lucado (thanks mom!) and he says "God promises to be a light to our path, not provide a crystal ball for our future"... something along those lines...  I like that idea, but I don't know if that's necessarily true... and if it is should I not be praying for big picture stuff?  Imagine that!  More confusion! ha!
- What do I have to do to make it my turn?  What if it never is? gah! more big picture!
- Do I REALLY want to write a thesis someday??
- why do i have so many clothes?  Seriously... and I'm very much emotionally attached to most of them... seems silly... at the same time... totally awesome. 
- Can I go a week without using a :)?  That could lead to a lot of misunderstandings... OH perhaps I give up emoticons for Lent!  That would be SO 21st century of me... we'll see...
- Gall stones are bright green????
-Why are you still reading this? haha... I usually go back and proof my posts, but i'm going to leave this one as-is... this is about as organic as you can get in a bla(h)g... if you're confused, just click the "x" up in the corner of your browser and go about your day... some things aren't worth figuring out :)