choo choo

let the record state that these sleepless nights are getting very annoying.
Today... in a mere 5 hours... I am going to talk about my train for the kiddie message at church.  It is one of my prized possessions.  It was my dad's and I still remember when it was brought to our house when I was a kid.  My grandpa was an amazing carpenter and he built this awesome platform with a depot for the train set.  I think my dad played on that as well.  That platform lives no more, but I still have the depot- and, of course the train.  Its a simple oval track and a five or six piece electric train from the 50's, I would think.  It was put into our basement when I was 8 or 9 and I spent hours and hours playing with it.  I had dozens of little matchbox cars that I put on the platform- they all had names, of course- and they lived their lives in my imagination.  It was a boy's way of playing with dolls, really- because I weaved some tangled webs.  I remember the Porsche and the Mustang were married, but then there was an accident and... well... the rest, as they say,  is history... Anyway, I loved that train and those hours of play time growing up. 
So now the train sits in its box, unused for probably close to two decades now, but I keep it in hopes that, I suppose, I can give it to my kid someday...  or I see it on Antiques Roadshow and sell it for a hefty price... whichever comes first...
Anyway, the point of the message will not be the walk down memory lane, rather it will illustrate Abram's faith.  Genesis 12:1 says: "The LORD had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.'" and 3 verses later we read, "So Abram left, as the LORD had told him".  A car on a train doesn't question the engine- it merely goes where it is told, so too Abram went were God told him.  Abram was richly blessed for following God- for trusting that He knows best.  When I give object lessons, I typically try to have them connect on more than just one level- the train idea doesn't really do that- its just a matter of going where the engine leads- which is great- because as Psalm 23 says that is beside quiet waters.  More importantly, we are lead to the cross of our Savior where we find not only peace and rest, but forgiveness of sins... that makes being a car- even a luggage car- so worth it!  Follow where the engine leads...

This is something I talk about all the time- I tell students over and over again to find rest and solace in the loving nail-marked hands of our Savior- but now I'm in this season of stomach knots and unrest and weariness and I have to remind myself of the same thing...  Actually, I take back that term- this isn't a season, because seasons are repetitive.  You know what you're getting with a season- this place that I'm in right now isn't something I've been through before... its a valley.  pretty deep and long, too... but I know that I am to follow and I know the Engine is powerful, mighty, and knows where it ends- but its hard not to try to peek over the top of the Engine to get a look at what's ahead for myself, you know?  I need to get back to the place where I belong- a car, not the engine.  Not to say that I'm anywhere nearly cool enough to be considered a caboose, but I like writing the word "caboose", so...

can you imagine how silly it would look to have a huge train- filled with coal cars and passenger cars and even freight (it is a very ambitious train company) -car after car after car- all lined up- with a caboose at the helm?!?!  It would look ridiculous, and it would be ridiculous because it couldn't go anywhere.  It would be stuck.  The caboose has no power, no engine, no throttle, no fuel- nothing.  With it in the lead, the train will go no where.  The caboose's job is to follow the engine, not lead the train.  Well, right now it seems as if I'm trying to move this train, but I am a mere caboose... oh the folly of a caboose who wants to be an engine... it would be silly if it wasn't so sad.  BUT- ha, I almost lost my train of thought there- the advice I most often give is "trust and rest"  Trust that God is bigger than me and His plan is indeed perfect, unique, and sure... and knowing that we get to rest in His loving arms.  I need to remind myself of that now... its easier giving it than living it, let me tell you...  I need to get back to the mindset of letting God be God and me being His servant- letting the engine lead and being the car that follows... I just hope this valley ends soon.
A mashup of like 4 different songs just flew through my head "I will go through this valley if you want me to" and "I would beg, plead, and I would borrow, just to have you lead me and I will follow"... but this pretty much sums it up right now...