not cool, man!

well...
there's not a lot to say other than tonight was a big bummer.  My car was broken into and everything... EVERY THING was taken.  Lots of gifts, lots of random junk, a couple of notebooks that really were special to me... such a bummer, and so flipping pointless.  Why do people do that?  The thing that bugs me is they have a key to my car and they have my address and it all just makes me feel icky.  so many "why's?" lay in that shattered glass.  My insurance will cover none of it- only the new window (which is nice, seeing as it's REALLY cold outside), but the $2000 or so of stuff that was taken is on me to replace. 
I think the biggest bummer is that it feels like I just wasted all that money.  I had to list the stuff that was taken for the cop and it just made me cringe when I had to list a value of the items... Why did i spend that much on those things??? Like, if chose to sell that stuff because I didn't use it, that's fine, it's on me- but ipods and chargers and GPS and shoes and clothes... it's all stuff that I used and used often.  blagh.  I don't want to think about it anymore, i makes me nauseous.

BUT, the really neat thing is I went to Vespers tonight- a worship service at a local Christian college- and God smiled on me.  The first 5 or 6 songs were some of my favorites... so good.  And during the first song- Jesus Paid it All, I heard  a whisper that said simply, "its all just stuff, man".  And I burst into tears. Its all just stuff... it means nothing.  Jesus blood and righteousness- that's what means something... the junk- some of if I couldn't even remember if it was in my car or not- that's nothin... Really, it makes me sad how sad it makes me.  I mean I cried a little... cuz my stuff was taken... why would that make me cry, Its just STUFF!!!! Stuff, that, with a couple of exceptions, I could go out and buy 125 of tomorrow.  Stuff. I cried because I lost stuff.  I've become emotionally attached to plastic and silicon.  It's just stuff, man.
I've been talking ALOT about getting rid of like 95% of my stuff and just living on the things I use... eliminate the clutter that fills up my life, you know.  Well, I think God just helped me get a head start.  I'll absolutely buy anther iPod (my 4th, now...) and probably another heart rate monitor and another pair of running shoes, but the rest can go and enjoy their new home.  My dad's car was broken into back in the day and all his Christian tapes were stolen.  I remember him writing an article about how he hopes the people who stole them listen to them and come to faith.  I have the same hope.  My iPod was in the midst of one of my all-time favorite albums "Church Music" by David Crowder.  It was mid- "Oh Happiness" which I've mentioned before on this here bla(h)g.  I hope they listen to it and it touches their heart.  Crazier things have happened, to be sure. I hope they listen... that would be cool.

I also hope I don't soon forget the feeling I have right now.  After I got off the phone w/ my insurance company and realized that there was no bail out, no check in the mail... it was a feeling of... I don't know how to describe it... its like I realized I was on my own- like this was my deal now.  And I had no choice but to go to God- I mean, what else is there?  It's hard to explain, but there's freedom when you don't have stuff.  Fewer distractions, fewer things in the way... I'm at peace with my loss, haha, and I'm glad to be in God's grip.  So enjoy my sunglasses and awesome Twins fleece jacket and Christmas gifts from my brother. I hope you appreciate my taste in music, and you like the dried apricots that I just bought.  I feel sad for you that you need to take my stuff in order for you to feel good.  I'll keep you in my prayers and I hope you'll leave my car alone in the future.  Also, if you could return those notebooks, my spare key, and my hat that I FINALLY got bent perfectly, I'd really appreciate it.  OH and my mirror too... that's just rude. :)