Imagine

yikes, the whole backstage of Blogger is totally different... it took me 5 minutes just to get to be able to post... I feel so old and out of touch.
As per usual, I'm in the middle of 5 or 6 books currently, but Donald Miller's "Searching For A God Who Knows What" has always stuck out on my bookshelf.  I have read all his other books, minus "Blue Like Jazz", oddly, since that's his HUGE book... I brought it up to the BWCA 4 years ago, but it got a little wet and I haven't gotten around to buying a new copy.  I don't know if I want to read it... I feel like I have already since everyone I know has read it and I've been part of dozens conversations about it...
ANYWAY, I started yet another book tonight- the aforementioned "Searching..." by Donny (that's what I call him) and this tidbit struck my fancy:
“Imagine how a man’s life would be if he trusted that he was loved by God. How could he interact with the poor and not show partiality, he could love his wife easily and not expect her to redeem him, he would be slow to anger because redemption was no longer at stake, he could be wise and giving with his money because money no longer represented points, he could give up on formulaic religion, knowing that checking stuff off a spiritual to-do list was a worthless pursuit, he would have confidence and the ability to laugh at himself, and he could love people without expecting anything in return. It would be quite beautiful, really.”
This touched me... I remember going to the mall alone as a high schooler.  This was a big faux paz, of course- high school people don't go out alone... at least they didn't willingly....  BUT, I remember going alone and thinking to myself, "who cares?  I have a girlfriend".   I had a confidence to be alone because I knew I had someone to come home to, so to speak.  Man oh man the confidence I lack because I forget that I am loved by God- dearly loved, even.  How many worthless pursuits do I go on and how many people do I end up alienating because I seek their approval rather than resting peacefully in the arms of my Savior... Lord, forgive me.



An apropos tune:

pontfication

So today, instead of talking about the Trinity like good Lutherans should, we talked about David (which isn't bad, but... come on, Athanasius only gets one Sunday a year!).  And so I wonder, God calls David a man after His own heart (1Sam 13:13-14, Acts 13:22), but did David know that?  I mean, if I'm a basketball player and Michael Jordan goes on ESPN and says that he thinks I'm the best player of all time, I'm going to play ball a little differently, you know?  So did David know that God considered him to be special- to be a man after His own heart?  That's high praise.  Or how did the whole Enoch thing work?  He walked with God?  What does that mean?  Did he know he was doing so in such an esteemed way, or was he just old man Enoch a'praisin' and a'livin' for Yahweh? (I don't know why when I think of Enoch I think of a 1930's southern fellow, but I do...)  Regardless, he had good genes as his son lived to be 969 years young. 
I don't know why I'm thinking about this, its admittedly pretty silly, but I wonder...  How does one gain such favor with the Lord?  And how can a man after God's own heart be a murderer and adulterer and raise kids who fell away.  That's the wonder of grace, I suppose.  How does Enoch walk with the Lord?  Why haven't more been as such since?  These are pointless quandaries, I know.  Perhaps I'm looking for validation.  You know, there are a lot of people who live their lives as "Christians" in many different ways.  Are the folks who won't write the word G*d in an Email more Christian than others?  Are they who don't listen to secular music stronger?  Or those who go to Wednesday church have more favor?  I know that this is all legalism, but Enoch walked with God and he took him to Heaven without dying.  And David was a man after God's heart, and God himself buried Moses, and Elijah was taken up in a chariot.. and on and on... I just want to know how did they live?  What was their faith like? What did their faith make their lives look like, you know?   I don't want to go so far as to say that I want to be like them- because I don't need to be like them- Jesus blood and righteousness covers over my sins just as it does theirs, thus our eternal home has the same address.  But, at the same time, I just kind of sort of at 1am on a Monday morning wish that there was an Enoch type today that one could look to and say - there - that person is living the Christian life- that person is a man after God's own heart.  Methinks I would very much like to get to know such a person... perhaps I do, I'm just too numb-skulled to realize it...
Meandering back to my original question, did David know that he was the Micheal Jordan of God's heart? (that is a big mixed metaphor, I know, but you get where I'm going...)  He presents evidence that he didn't- i.e. the Bathsheba-gate scandal.  But then he shows that he does- i.e. Psalm 51... ugh.
Maybe the take home for me is I DO know that I am a man after God's own heart, because I am made clean by His Son's blood.  That, therefore, is the lens through which I look at the world, and are the marching orders (so to speak) by which I live my life... This is nothing new, I realize, but a reminder is always nice, and I have an incessant need for closure.  Alas, I've concluded nothing pertaining my questions... oh well... another day, perhaps.
haha sorry to waste your time today, this is what happens when you don't talk about the Trinity on Trinity Sunday. :)