So tonight was a... I dunno... good- definitely good- experience. But I went through a whole gambit of emotions, and I'm not exactly sure why. As I typed that first ellipsis all my ambition to expound on my night and thoughts drifted away... so maybe some other time... :)
BUT
the short version is- I've never been a fan of the concept of a "life verse" and I don't know how one goes about getting one- like does someone have to give it to you? Or like is there a life verse swami out there divvying them out...
Regardless, I think if it is kosher to choose one's own, I would choose Isaiah 51:16- I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand.
I think the Lord has indeed covered me with His hand time after time, and I know He has used me in profound ways to share Jesus... they weren't my words, that's for sure...
SO I pray He continues to use me and protect me and yeah... Isaiah 51:16 would be a pretty cool life verse... if I was into that kind of thing...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
(the real) three sixty five.
First of all, today I made an AMAZING cuban pork roast. Man oh man is it delicious. I cannot wait for the embargo to be lifted, cuz I want to go to Havana just for the food... and the cigars... but mostly for the food. :)
It doesn't take much to look at the world and see all sorts of nuttiness going on. The $3.30 gas is obviously the most hard-hitting for me, but pretty irrelevant when you look at the revolution in Egypt and Libya, not to mention rumblings of revolt in Yemen and the Ivory Coast. There's earthquakes and Tsunami's in New Zealand and Australia, there's pirates killing Americans at sea, Unions protesting, snow storms everywhere, major flooding to come, and what in the world were Chicago voters thinking???
I know these things are nothing new, but they seem to be all happening at once right now. It is easy to look at them as global things- stuff that is happening far away that you can ignore if you turn off the TV or stay off Drudge for a while, but really these are lives being impacted. These are real, live people fighting for their freedoms, their livelihood, and even their lives. Its totally mind-blowing to think about. And scary too! I mean states are bankrupt, and jobs are disappearing, and $5 gas? I'd never get to Wisconsin ever again! The country, if not the world, is becoming more and more polarized and the noise of gutless rhetoric is getting louder and louder. It seems that there must be a breaking point, and the grave reality of the matter is that breaking point will most likely come while I'm alive... its nuts to think about.
But, you know, even in the chaos we have hope and peace, don't we? We trust fully in He who calms the waves and controls the tectonic movements. We retreat to He who is the same yesterday, today, and forever and find rest when revolutions arise. We look to Him who says "Be still and know I am God" when nervousness over budget-breaking gas prices, impossible situations, and our own mortality stares us in the eyes. The hope that we have in Jesus' perfect blood and righteousness doesn't fade away when the going gets tough. Why is it so easy to think that way? Why is it my default response to lean toward doubting our Savior's never-ending love when calamity befalls me? It makes no sense. If ever there is a time to cling with fevered passion to the cross where we were set from from sin, death, and the devil it is when we are pressed on all sides! When governments flounder, friends flummox, and life frustrates. If that's not the time to lean not on our own understanding, then when is it time to totally trust in the Almighty's assurance that He'll never leave us?
These pitfalls of sin that are dominating the headlines right now are obviously from the Evil One, but so too is the desperation and hopelessness that I feel as I watch the details unfold on my couch. Satan wants me to think that everything is gone awry and God has finally given up on this fallen race. The Devil loves it when I look at suffering and disaster and rather than saying, "This is YOUR doing, Satan" and despise him all the more; I turn to our perfect God and say, "Why are you allowing this?" May I never forget the source of sin and destruction, and remember that this very destruction is what I deserve as a sinful human being. Thanks be to our Savior Jesus that such destruction is not my fate, my name is written in the book of life! His mercy endures forever!
But, most importantly, may I never lose sight of the fact that Our Lord's hand is still in all these things, Our salvation is still sure through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, and my citizenship is of Heaven, not this fickle, fleeting world. May we never lose sight of the fact that while world events are obviously hard to ignore and not focus on, God is still very much involved in our everyday relationships, lives, and goings on. Its not like He can only pay attention to one or two things. He is still omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent... He is still God. And while it may seem as if He's pre-occupied with African revolts and disasters in Oceania, may I always conclude that such thinking poppycock! Jesus is living within me! His Spirit is here among us! His blood sealed my fate. The same God that looks after the sparrows looks after me and you, and that is pretty stinkin' awesome! He promises rest to the weary, wholeness to the broken, and peace to the troubled. Thank you God for never abandoning me when I've doubted and faltered, and for picking me up when I thought I was strong enough to walk on my own...
It doesn't take much to look at the world and see all sorts of nuttiness going on. The $3.30 gas is obviously the most hard-hitting for me, but pretty irrelevant when you look at the revolution in Egypt and Libya, not to mention rumblings of revolt in Yemen and the Ivory Coast. There's earthquakes and Tsunami's in New Zealand and Australia, there's pirates killing Americans at sea, Unions protesting, snow storms everywhere, major flooding to come, and what in the world were Chicago voters thinking???
I know these things are nothing new, but they seem to be all happening at once right now. It is easy to look at them as global things- stuff that is happening far away that you can ignore if you turn off the TV or stay off Drudge for a while, but really these are lives being impacted. These are real, live people fighting for their freedoms, their livelihood, and even their lives. Its totally mind-blowing to think about. And scary too! I mean states are bankrupt, and jobs are disappearing, and $5 gas? I'd never get to Wisconsin ever again! The country, if not the world, is becoming more and more polarized and the noise of gutless rhetoric is getting louder and louder. It seems that there must be a breaking point, and the grave reality of the matter is that breaking point will most likely come while I'm alive... its nuts to think about.
But, you know, even in the chaos we have hope and peace, don't we? We trust fully in He who calms the waves and controls the tectonic movements. We retreat to He who is the same yesterday, today, and forever and find rest when revolutions arise. We look to Him who says "Be still and know I am God" when nervousness over budget-breaking gas prices, impossible situations, and our own mortality stares us in the eyes. The hope that we have in Jesus' perfect blood and righteousness doesn't fade away when the going gets tough. Why is it so easy to think that way? Why is it my default response to lean toward doubting our Savior's never-ending love when calamity befalls me? It makes no sense. If ever there is a time to cling with fevered passion to the cross where we were set from from sin, death, and the devil it is when we are pressed on all sides! When governments flounder, friends flummox, and life frustrates. If that's not the time to lean not on our own understanding, then when is it time to totally trust in the Almighty's assurance that He'll never leave us?
These pitfalls of sin that are dominating the headlines right now are obviously from the Evil One, but so too is the desperation and hopelessness that I feel as I watch the details unfold on my couch. Satan wants me to think that everything is gone awry and God has finally given up on this fallen race. The Devil loves it when I look at suffering and disaster and rather than saying, "This is YOUR doing, Satan" and despise him all the more; I turn to our perfect God and say, "Why are you allowing this?" May I never forget the source of sin and destruction, and remember that this very destruction is what I deserve as a sinful human being. Thanks be to our Savior Jesus that such destruction is not my fate, my name is written in the book of life! His mercy endures forever!
But, most importantly, may I never lose sight of the fact that Our Lord's hand is still in all these things, Our salvation is still sure through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, and my citizenship is of Heaven, not this fickle, fleeting world. May we never lose sight of the fact that while world events are obviously hard to ignore and not focus on, God is still very much involved in our everyday relationships, lives, and goings on. Its not like He can only pay attention to one or two things. He is still omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent... He is still God. And while it may seem as if He's pre-occupied with African revolts and disasters in Oceania, may I always conclude that such thinking poppycock! Jesus is living within me! His Spirit is here among us! His blood sealed my fate. The same God that looks after the sparrows looks after me and you, and that is pretty stinkin' awesome! He promises rest to the weary, wholeness to the broken, and peace to the troubled. Thank you God for never abandoning me when I've doubted and faltered, and for picking me up when I thought I was strong enough to walk on my own...
Monday, February 21, 2011
three sixty five (take one)
WELL folks-
This is it! The 365th post on this piece of the internets. It took me 3 months longer than I wanted, but I made it. horray!
The pressure is on, however, to make it something good.
It has been a while since I've blogged. While there have been several major changes in my life, I haven't felt compelled to reflect on them on paper. Generally speaking, I'm consumed with angst as of late. There are a lot of things that I know I have to do, but really want to put them off so I procrastinate, then feel kind of guilty, then start, but get more or less overwhelmed so I put them off, then guilt... its a vicious circle. :)
But things are good! I am blessed. I am also 30 years old.
wow.
I am working on this whole growing up thing, and I think I'm starting to come around, and while I'm excited to see what kind of adventures lay ahead, but I really wish I had an adventure partner... Still working on trusting in Kairos.... I wish, if it isn't going to happen... for a while at least... this desire would go away, but it persists and it's starting to get on my nerves.
What else is new? Oh, my companion over the past 5 years- trusty, sure-footed, comfortable- is no longer with me. That's right, the Rendezvous is gone. Its a long story but it came down to it not being reliable and me not wanting to put more money into it. So I bought a car that will be reliable and has an awesome warranty. If the Rendy was a Ferrari, my new ride is a BMW 3 series. Nice, definitely nice, but no Ferrari... I really think long-term its the right choice, but short term I have to deal with the significant impact on the ole budget and the thought of 5 years of payments. Buyer's remorse is the worst. The fact is this, like so many things, cannot be changed so I need to embrace it and deal. It was a great deal and I think we're going to have many happy years together. I miss the old girl, but I look forward to this new chapter in my vehicular life. :)
hmmmm... this isn't much of a 365th post... I think back to when I turned 20... actually I don't remember what I did for my 20th birthday- (for the record my 30th birthday was spent mini-golfing with some really great people- blessings, in fact)- ok my 21st birthday- I think back to that- Wild game with my buddies and Joe's Crab Shack with my parents (after destroying the '90 Audi 80)- good times. And I realize there is no way i could have ever ever ever imagined I'd have the life I do now. No WAY I could have even dreamed of it. God is good and has held me closely to Himself.
So I have a desire to wax theoretical about where I'll be in 5 years... but I realize it would be trying to imagine a finger-painting when I have a DiVinci to look forward to. That may be a convoluted metaphor, but I think you get it...
The thing that kind of bums me out about me is that I can sit on this mountain of 30 years of perspective and see all the phenomenal blessings I've been given. I've forgotten more blessings that I can count... My cup overflows1!!! BUT I still get bummed about the few things I don't have. I can say with a good amount of certainty that I would have said I'd be a college graduate and married by age 30- age 25 was my goal, if I'm not mistaken. Neither of those things are true and its hard not to focus on them... I'm annoyed that I do spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on them currently, and I'm even more annoyed that one of them I really am clueless as to how to approach remedying.
blah.
Maybe the thing that is the most discouraging about my status quo is I'm not sure what to look forward to. I mean the 21 year old me had lots to look forward to- lots of unknown adventures to explore. The world was my burrito. Now its like I have the same old routine to look forward to, perhaps I'll try a new shampoo and maybe I'll build some new shelves for my garage... Not exactly climbing Everest... hmmm as I write I realize this is my deal, I mean its my own limits that are, well, limiting me... So maybe I need to think bigger... I think maybe the words of the prof that told me that I'm wasting my life have resounded more than care to admit and so I'm second guessing everything I get excited for because I'm afraid it's not worthy enough... icky. she's in my head. blah.
ANYWHOO... post 365 should not be whiny! The truth is big things are in store! I'm only limited by my own... ahem... laziness, really. The truth is that I'm loved and I'm really glad that I am. And I'm really really working on trusting it. I'm excited about my new roommate- today we played snowball baseball. He's good people and I'm guessing there's many fun times ahead. I'm honestly 30 pages from graduation. Tomorrow is a snow day and I'm not leaving my house until I have 4 pages written. boom. The world of graduate schools is indeed my burrito and where my education and academia will take me, only God knows.
I think my problem is that I have equated maturity with conservative life choices. Safe is best has been my mantra over the past several years. In that thinking, I've muddled who I am. I was never one to be very calculated. Not that I'm reckless, but I, historically, have been one to live with my emotions on my sleeve, throw caution to the wind and go the way of whimsy, and it has produced some fantastic times. It has also made for some tremendous heart break. But when you're out there living, you're gonna get hurt- but at least you're feeling something!!
Its been quite some time since I've done that, been spontaneous. Instead, I've talked things to death and over analyzed my way out of things that could have been really good and really life-changing. I think I need to worry less about the long term and live more in the moment. A "save tonight" kind of a deal. :) I think I'd be pretty happy if 30 was a year of just putting it all on the line and pursuing adventure. I have little to lose other than more missed opportunities for awesomeness.
The bottom line is my friends have heard all my stories- most of them are true :) - so I need to start writing some that are new... which means I need to get back to living and stop merely surviving (thanks Garth Brooks). And, in it all, I need- I get- to make sure that I'm honoring God. I don't think God is necessarily honored in me being a 5 when he's gifted me to be a 10. My favorite quote- A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for. I think its time for me to start venturing out of my harbor again... I just got excited.
This is it! The 365th post on this piece of the internets. It took me 3 months longer than I wanted, but I made it. horray!
The pressure is on, however, to make it something good.
It has been a while since I've blogged. While there have been several major changes in my life, I haven't felt compelled to reflect on them on paper. Generally speaking, I'm consumed with angst as of late. There are a lot of things that I know I have to do, but really want to put them off so I procrastinate, then feel kind of guilty, then start, but get more or less overwhelmed so I put them off, then guilt... its a vicious circle. :)
But things are good! I am blessed. I am also 30 years old.
wow.
I am working on this whole growing up thing, and I think I'm starting to come around, and while I'm excited to see what kind of adventures lay ahead, but I really wish I had an adventure partner... Still working on trusting in Kairos.... I wish, if it isn't going to happen... for a while at least... this desire would go away, but it persists and it's starting to get on my nerves.
What else is new? Oh, my companion over the past 5 years- trusty, sure-footed, comfortable- is no longer with me. That's right, the Rendezvous is gone. Its a long story but it came down to it not being reliable and me not wanting to put more money into it. So I bought a car that will be reliable and has an awesome warranty. If the Rendy was a Ferrari, my new ride is a BMW 3 series. Nice, definitely nice, but no Ferrari... I really think long-term its the right choice, but short term I have to deal with the significant impact on the ole budget and the thought of 5 years of payments. Buyer's remorse is the worst. The fact is this, like so many things, cannot be changed so I need to embrace it and deal. It was a great deal and I think we're going to have many happy years together. I miss the old girl, but I look forward to this new chapter in my vehicular life. :)
hmmmm... this isn't much of a 365th post... I think back to when I turned 20... actually I don't remember what I did for my 20th birthday- (for the record my 30th birthday was spent mini-golfing with some really great people- blessings, in fact)- ok my 21st birthday- I think back to that- Wild game with my buddies and Joe's Crab Shack with my parents (after destroying the '90 Audi 80)- good times. And I realize there is no way i could have ever ever ever imagined I'd have the life I do now. No WAY I could have even dreamed of it. God is good and has held me closely to Himself.
So I have a desire to wax theoretical about where I'll be in 5 years... but I realize it would be trying to imagine a finger-painting when I have a DiVinci to look forward to. That may be a convoluted metaphor, but I think you get it...
The thing that kind of bums me out about me is that I can sit on this mountain of 30 years of perspective and see all the phenomenal blessings I've been given. I've forgotten more blessings that I can count... My cup overflows1!!! BUT I still get bummed about the few things I don't have. I can say with a good amount of certainty that I would have said I'd be a college graduate and married by age 30- age 25 was my goal, if I'm not mistaken. Neither of those things are true and its hard not to focus on them... I'm annoyed that I do spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on them currently, and I'm even more annoyed that one of them I really am clueless as to how to approach remedying.
blah.
Maybe the thing that is the most discouraging about my status quo is I'm not sure what to look forward to. I mean the 21 year old me had lots to look forward to- lots of unknown adventures to explore. The world was my burrito. Now its like I have the same old routine to look forward to, perhaps I'll try a new shampoo and maybe I'll build some new shelves for my garage... Not exactly climbing Everest... hmmm as I write I realize this is my deal, I mean its my own limits that are, well, limiting me... So maybe I need to think bigger... I think maybe the words of the prof that told me that I'm wasting my life have resounded more than care to admit and so I'm second guessing everything I get excited for because I'm afraid it's not worthy enough... icky. she's in my head. blah.
ANYWHOO... post 365 should not be whiny! The truth is big things are in store! I'm only limited by my own... ahem... laziness, really. The truth is that I'm loved and I'm really glad that I am. And I'm really really working on trusting it. I'm excited about my new roommate- today we played snowball baseball. He's good people and I'm guessing there's many fun times ahead. I'm honestly 30 pages from graduation. Tomorrow is a snow day and I'm not leaving my house until I have 4 pages written. boom. The world of graduate schools is indeed my burrito and where my education and academia will take me, only God knows.
I think my problem is that I have equated maturity with conservative life choices. Safe is best has been my mantra over the past several years. In that thinking, I've muddled who I am. I was never one to be very calculated. Not that I'm reckless, but I, historically, have been one to live with my emotions on my sleeve, throw caution to the wind and go the way of whimsy, and it has produced some fantastic times. It has also made for some tremendous heart break. But when you're out there living, you're gonna get hurt- but at least you're feeling something!!
Its been quite some time since I've done that, been spontaneous. Instead, I've talked things to death and over analyzed my way out of things that could have been really good and really life-changing. I think I need to worry less about the long term and live more in the moment. A "save tonight" kind of a deal. :) I think I'd be pretty happy if 30 was a year of just putting it all on the line and pursuing adventure. I have little to lose other than more missed opportunities for awesomeness.
The bottom line is my friends have heard all my stories- most of them are true :) - so I need to start writing some that are new... which means I need to get back to living and stop merely surviving (thanks Garth Brooks). And, in it all, I need- I get- to make sure that I'm honoring God. I don't think God is necessarily honored in me being a 5 when he's gifted me to be a 10. My favorite quote- A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for. I think its time for me to start venturing out of my harbor again... I just got excited.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
typoing aion't a;lways easy.
yesterday, as i was mandolining carrots for an AMAZING roast I made, I cut my finger pretty badly. like there's a chunk miossiong. It makes typ=ing with my righjt habnd pretty difficult.
I have a huge band-aid on it, thus sometimes I hit two keys at once;. I wonder if this is how we look to God sometimes. We try to put our own band-aid over our wounds, we try tio take care oif ourselves on;ly to make everything mopre cpomberspome and difficul;t. Real;l;y, I probably should have gpone tp the ER, but stubboprn me... Np[t tpo wporry, the bleeding is stop-p-ed and it'll be fine (i'm ho[ing foir a sweet scar), but I couold have made it easoer iof I just let spomepne help me.
Without Jesus we canno0t be fine and we tru;y have nop chance of hea;ling. Thankfull;y fingers hea; better than hearts. I thank God for His Son Jesus, and I pray IU always cl;ing toi the cross in a;;l things, rather than tryoing toi handle things pon my opwn. Because when io doon't I lookl (and feel) likoe a moprpn trying ti tyupe wiuth a ridicul;pus band=aid pn my finger.
Thank yopu L:ord fopr wanting my burdens, and gove me the wiosdpom to always lay them at your feet.
I have a huge band-aid on it, thus sometimes I hit two keys at once;. I wonder if this is how we look to God sometimes. We try to put our own band-aid over our wounds, we try tio take care oif ourselves on;ly to make everything mopre cpomberspome and difficul;t. Real;l;y, I probably should have gpone tp the ER, but stubboprn me... Np[t tpo wporry, the bleeding is stop-p-ed and it'll be fine (i'm ho[ing foir a sweet scar), but I couold have made it easoer iof I just let spomepne help me.
Without Jesus we canno0t be fine and we tru;y have nop chance of hea;ling. Thankfull;y fingers hea; better than hearts. I thank God for His Son Jesus, and I pray IU always cl;ing toi the cross in a;;l things, rather than tryoing toi handle things pon my opwn. Because when io doon't I lookl (and feel) likoe a moprpn trying ti tyupe wiuth a ridicul;pus band=aid pn my finger.
Thank yopu L:ord fopr wanting my burdens, and gove me the wiosdpom to always lay them at your feet.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
hmmmmmmmmm
this video contains a lot of my favorites...
Kinetic Typography blows my mind. I enjoy the color orange. I like things that spark conversation. I dig the use of logic, and I, of course, love God... so, minus the decision theology, this here is a perfect video... :)
Kinetic Typography blows my mind. I enjoy the color orange. I like things that spark conversation. I dig the use of logic, and I, of course, love God... so, minus the decision theology, this here is a perfect video... :)
a song for my monday.
simple but beautiful.
I know God is good because He gave me a listening ear tonight. that is a blessing that is beyond words. BFLM.
I know God is good because He gave me a listening ear tonight. that is a blessing that is beyond words. BFLM.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)