come on!!!

Twins... What are you doing? Get it together men... please?
Tonight was a great night with a good buddy watching the Twins getting trounced in gorgeous autumn weather all the while reminiscing about the greatest sports moments we could remember. Bo Jackson's comeback... classic...

good times.

great heights!

What's that you say?  You want a song today?  OK!  Here ya go!
For quite some time, I've been rather enamored with Ben Gibbard.  He's pretty fantastic, and I may or may not have had a couple of beers with him back in the day.  Good times.
SO here's his tune- made famous by Iron and Wine, but mastered by Gibbard and Postal Service. It *tear* has a special *tear* place in my heart... AND it's by far the best song on the Garden State soundtrack... so many things to love...
Enjoy, now, you hear?

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true, it may seem like a stretch
But its thoughts like this that catch my troubled head
When you're away, when I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now" they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now, but we'll stay

I tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat, it sounded thin upon listening

And that frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now" they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now, but we'll stay

Aye carrumba!

I just woke up from a dream in which I had a huge group of.kids and we were going to Mexico for a mission trip... But I forgot to have them sign their paperwork and my drivers license was missing and I had no passport... It was a disaster.
I haven't been at church lately... Methinks my subconscious is telling me to get to work. I think its right.

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a tad moody...

So I've been wrastlin' with this idea for a while, and it's not quite fully developed yet, but I figured I'd get the rough draft out in hope of re-visiting it someday...
A couple of weeks ago I had a Facebook friend (we'll call her Jane) say something to the effect of "I really need some pizza, that'll hit the spot"  and someone (we'll call her Barb) commented, "you go, Jane!  I'm praying it hits the spot."  Really Barb?  Really?  You're telling me you stopped what you were doing and said, "Dear God please let Jane's belly be filled with pizza and just let that spot of which she refers be hit.  A-men."  Really?  did you?  Methinks you didn't.  And if you did... why?
Then I'm at the night club that I work at and they have a prayer before the concert and the pastor (we'll call her Nancy) says something like, "I speak a spirit of good music into tonight and I drive out the devil from all the people entering the doors tonight."  What?  What does that even mean?
And then I go on Facebook and I see a guy (we'll call him Kirk)- a kid I went to grade school with- Who lives with his girlfriend, has 2 children out of wedlock with her, and is currently suing his parents because they did something to his dog a couple of years ago (?) and he was like, "keep praying for us guys, God hears them and will bless us through this tough time."  And I shake my head...
And then I read these books that say that God promises to give me a wife, all I need to do is pray and leave it in His hands and He will provide... and yet I don't see ANYTHING like that in my Bible...

I don't mean to be snotty or judgmental, its just that lately I've been really aware of this cheap grace that seems to be poisoning even conservative Christians.  The idea that prayers are like magic spells that if we say them God will make some good mojo go our way.  Or that a Christian can't say "good luck"  or "I hope..." because God is in control, so we have to say, "I'm praying..." because that shows we're Christians.  Or the idea that we're on cruise control and God is the driver and we just kick back and enjoy the good times while God takes us on the Christian fun time ride...
icky, people!  ICKY!
I have taken a very academic approach to my faith lately, which is new for me, and yet totally awesome.  What it does tho, is it takes that  empty or flighty emotionalism and it puts it on the waaay back burner.  In a way, I'm just not sure what role prayer has in our everyday lives... Not that I think God is in any way oblivious or apathetic- not at all- but at the same time are we called to pray that our friend is satisfied with her pizza?  I don't want to say God has better things to do... but... I mean, come on...  And yet, we're told to "pray unceasingly"  and "in all things, pray"... and I just don't know what is right and what is cheapening the amazing grace we have through Jesus.  I guess what it is is more and more I feel like we're treating prayer as a means of grace- that is, we hold prayer up right along with His Word and Sacraments as a way that grace (God's undeserved love) is imparted upon us.
This is just not true.
Prayer is a heart to heart conversation with God in which we thank Him for his bountiful goodness, ask Him for his continued grace and mercy on us lowly sinners, and confess even our darkest of sins so that when we receive the Sacrament- when we hold in our hands the body of our Savior and taste on our lips His redeeming blood- we would have no doubt that our sins are removed, our faith is all the more bolstered, and we have no question that Heaven is our home.  That is what being a Christian, nay, a Lutheran is all about.  Not this frivolity fluffy flax that does nothing but muddles Jesus' work on the cross and mixes it with our own good vibrations and burning bosoms.
Please don't misread me.  I'm all about the emotional side of the Christian life- My faith is more than a knowledge, it is a conviction that I will go to the grave defending, but I pray it isn't cheap.  It was costly; it took the life of Jesus-- God-made-man-- to steal me away from the grip of sin, death, and the Devil.  Woe to me (yes, I just said "woe to me") if I make that sacrifice into something that is dependent on my limited reason and oft manipulated emotions. 
So Jane, I hope that pizza was good, Barb, you need to spend less time on Facebook... for real.  Nancy, you can't speak jack into anything, leave that to God, also know your role and repent.
Kirk... figure it out man.  I WILL pray for you... that your conscience convicts you and you turn to the cross.
and relationship books, stop making promises that aren't true.  Crimeiny! The only advice you need give a dude looking for a gal is man up and ask her out.  Confidence is sexy.  Write that down.
I realize I'm coming off waaaaaay harsh tonight.  I don't mean to, but dang it, these things really gnaw on my gizzard, ya know?  Pray for me- that I would have patience and love and a propensity to show grace, not give guff.

Gotta Love College...

Eww... did I really say "Yeah buddy" in my previous post?  Sorry 'bout that.
SO there is MASSIVE flooding along the Minnesota River.  The road I drive to school happens to be built right along that fine river.  As such, over 40 miles of highway are closed until Wednesday at the earliest... joy.  I can take an alternate route, but I have no idea how long it'll take and so I have to leave super early... Which means I have to do homework tonight... at home... icky.
I'm actually a little bummed because the drive along the river IS really pretty as the trees are turning and displaying their autumn glory.  I'm bummed I'm going to miss a week's worth of color.  It shouldn't peak for another week or two, so I should be good, but I'm annoyed nonetheless. 
I gotta admit, if not being able to drive along a road of pretty trees is the worst thing in my life, I'm doing pretty good for myself.
I am looking forward to getting this college ministry thing off of the ground.  I've been pushing it lower and lower down my "to-do" list, but that needs to change.  I hope to get it going by week's end. We had some good convo whilst "watching" the fights, and the prospect of a continuing dialogue of such topics makes me very excited.  The bottom line is I detest post-modernism, and Armenians drive me nuts.  indubitably.
OK OK I should do some homework... at home...
12 weeks left!?!?
wowzas! 

Fight night! yeah buddy!

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ears ringing

Good times downtown tonight MCing.  After 2 shows I know most of the production crew and it feels like I'm just one of the regulars... it's pretty cool.
I made new friends with a super sweet band called Sixteen Cities.  They're label mates with Jason Gray and Andrew Peterson- and they're definitely cut from the same cloth.  Really, really good guys! They gave me their BRAND NEW EP to review.  I honestly got the first one out of the box... nice.  I'll hopefully get that review published in a national blog or two.

oh, and I also met my future wife... NBD.
nighty night.

I know what I know!

I Hope You See Jesus
by Bebo Norman
Album: "Ocean"

Instead of fear
Instead of blinded eyes
Instead of shame
Instead of all my lies
Instead of an orphan without a name
I, I hope you see Jesus

Instead of anger
Instead of unbelief
Instead of weakness in the heart of me
Instead of a wounded soul that sometimes looses faith
I, I hope you see Jesus

I hope you see Jesus
I hope you see Jesus
Standing in my place
Bearing all my shame
I hope you see Jesus

Instead of voices in a face-less crowd
Instead of prophets crying out from behind a shroud
Instead of fingers pointing out the blame
I hope you see Jesus

I hope you see Jesus
I hope you see Jesus
Standing in my place
Bearing all my shame
I hope you see Jesus

I hope you see love
I hope you see love
I hope you see love

Oh my God
When you look on us
A broken people
Who have turned from Love
Instead of the words we throw
And the wars we wage

I, I hope you forgive us
I hope you see Jesus
I hope you see Jesus
Standing in our place
Bearing all our shame
I hope you see Jesus

Standing in my place
Bearing all my shame
I hope you see Jesus

This is a catchy tune, and I really like the words... until the end.  I agree with what Bebo is saying in the first couple of verse, I hope that people see Jesus in me.  It beckons back to a old Jason Gray song, "You look a little more like Jesus every day..."
But at the end, when he's talking to God and he hopes that God sees Jesus... it leaves so much to chance- "I hope you forgive us ... I hope you see Jesus"???  NO!  God DOES forgive us because he DOES see Jesus!  That is the message of the Gospel, how do you completely miss that in a song like this?
It would be such a powerful final verse-
When you look at us, a broken people, etc,
I KNOW you forgive us,
I know you see Jesus
standing in my place,
bearing all my shame
I know you see Jesus.

and then end with:
Thank you for Jesus.

...that's the good stuff! :)
That is the truth of the matter. It gives me chills to think about.  I am clothed in Christ's righteousness.  I don't need to hope that God sees Him in me, I know He does.  There is no doubt, no uncertianty... only Jesus.
Bebo, ya missed the mark on this one, man. Next time give me a call, I'll help you out.

At First listen...

You remember my distaste for Bebo Norman's newer work... WELL, at first Listen to his new album “Ocean” (comes out on Tuesday), I’m pleasantly surprised. He is still a far cry from the sophisticated simplicity of his first two or three albums as a singer/songwriter, but this is a nice step in the right direction. Quite honestly, his last studio album (self-titled and the first from the giant label BEC) was pretty terrible, so really it was hard to get any worse. I have to accept that he’s merely a singer now, the songwriter part has been shouldered by several folks. I look forward to reading the album liner to see who he wrote with.  Keeping that in mind, overall I’d give it a B-… He definitely goes deeper than he has in the past 5 years, but the tunes are still merely off-the-shelf repetitive pop hooks.

“Sing Over Me” and “God of My Everything” have definite potential. The first single, "Here Goes" I'm not too much a fan of, but it is a fine pop song.  I suppose I’ll go see him when he comes back to MSP… for the 10th time...

right on target

oh Twins... you've always held my heart.  who needs the vikes or gophers? 
love is not a strong enough word...
good times!

SO my man Josh hooked me up big time today and as soon as I get my rear in gear and submit a couple of samples, I'm going to be writing for a couple of big...BIG... Christian music blogs.  How cool is that?  I'll keep you posted.
Now I switch to WGN and watch the Sox lose.
twins.
: )

Agag is a funny name...

So usually I have some sort of a back-story as to why I am writing about a particular topic, but today I got nothin’. I struggle with this whole bla(h)g thing and what I write… and I would like to keep it more devotional in nature. But that typically requires deep thought and preparation, and I try to keep both of those to a minimum, so what you see is what you get.

The Amalekites were a long-time thorn in the Israelite’s side throughout their history. Overall, they seemed to be pretty awful people. But one day God told Saul to kill them. More than that, He told Saul to annihilate them. In 1 Samuel 15, God tells the king, “Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys." So Saul took over 200,000 soldiers and did as the Lord commanded; he killed everyone and left nothing destroyed… with the exception of the choicest sheep and cattle, and the Amalekite king Agag; he kept them alive as was commonplace in warfare at the time.

The Bible says something pretty peculiar about Saul’s actions. It says that God was “grieved that He made Saul king.” (15:11) What that exactly means (how God can grieve His perfect decision), I don’t really know. I’ll have to ask my dad about that one… But the reason He was grieved is because Saul didn’t listen to God’s commands. God told him to destroy everything, but Saul kept sheep, cattle, and royalty. So God sent Samuel to confront the king. I love what Samuel does. He asks Saul how the battle went, and Saul starts yapping then Samuel interrupts him and says, "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears? What is this lowing of cattle that I hear?" Personally, I read that very sarcastically. It makes me smile. The thing is though, Saul had a good answer. He kept the high quality sheep and cows in order to make a thank-offering to God for delivering the enemy into their hands. It was what you did after battle; you win then you slaughter the best animals as an offering to God. Saul didn’t keep them for himself or hide the fact that he kept them, he just kept them alive in order to give thanks to God.
Here’s how Samuel replied:

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams."

Powerful words those are! God didn’t want Saul to keep animals- even if they were heading for the altar. God wanted Saul to follow His commands, and since Saul disobeyed, God withdrew His favor toward Saul’s reign. Good intentions pale in comparison to following God’s directives.
This smacks me right between the eyes. How often have I known full and well what God commanded, but do something else- even with good intentions- only to fall short of what I know I should do.  I do it all the time.  I see a kid who is on the "fringe" and could really use some time and attention, but instead of reaching out to him, I focus on those whom I already know and with which I already have a rapport.  Granted, this is a little bit of a different scenario than what we see in 1 Samuel 15, but it burdens my conscious nonetheless.  The bottom line is to honor God is to keep his commands; that is the highest form of worship. What, you ask, are His commands? Well Jesus puts them very simply in Matthew 22: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Love God and serve others, this is what He commands. Seems simple enough, but the one thing that’s missing in that sentence is the thing that gets in the way. The “I”- The almighty, “ME”. I get in the way of loving God and worrying about me gets in the way of loving others. This is shameful…

But, thanks be to God it isn’t up to me to seek to love Him or others! This is the wonderful truth of the Theology of the Cross! I know that it is Christ within me that prompts me to honor, serve, and obey our Almighty Father in Heaven. It is through the Holy Spirit that I have faith, and it is that faith that causes me to desire to be a light in the darkness of this world. The beauty of Him being made strong in my pathetic weakness means that even though I fail day after day in putting serving my Savior first in my life, He is still mighty to save! It isn’t about me and what I do, it’s about Him and what He does through me. It is pretty amazing, really. The highest form of worship is following God’s commands. An impossible feat alone. But the Living God is living within me and through Him I am a slave to His righteousness. May He continue to work on my heart that I would seek to honor Him- truly honor Him in everything I think, say, and do. May I look for opportunities to love others as He loved me, and may I always obey His perfect commands rather than my feeble desires.

Blaaaaaah

Is it December yet? please?

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la la la

oh good times tonight- I MC'd a show at club three degrees... it was pretty sweet. I really really like these guys: http://www.myspace.com/loveoutloudofficial they got moxie, man!  I really love the Christian music world... really, really. 

Tomorrow is our huge kick off for all the year's youth stuffs.  It should be sweet.  In two weeks my stupid math class starts... then the craziness begins... *deep breath*
now... I sleep.

mmhmm

all will be well.

ha I'm going to leave it at that so when I go back and read this in like a year I'll be like... why in the world did I write that.
It'll totally be worth it.  Stay classy, future me. :)

ghostly!

Well this Twins winning thing is something that I can certainly get used to. Good work, boys.
Today I did a bit of nothing... I made it my day off. It was quite enjoyable. I made another lasagna, this time it was much more normal-like and delicious. I used an entire habenaro in the sauce... zesty! PLUS- and I really shouldn't be as excited about this as I am- BUT- I am getting a pint of Ghost Peppers this weekend. GHOST PEPPERS... OK so I went on youtube to find a video to illustrate the power of the ghost, but after watching them, I just might skip my purchase. It's like this- a habenaro is 30 times hotter than a jalapeno. The ghost is 3-4 times hotter than a habenaro... it is intense. The heat can last for 3 to 4 hours... if you want to see for yourself, youtube it. wild stuff.

I don't know why I've been so into peppers lately, but I really am. Currently my two favorites are hot peppers and rap music. no lie. odd.
tomorrow is friday. good things.

yeow!

Today I learned that "organic" and "locally grown" is code for "really, really expensive"... the 100 mile challenge is gonna be roughskis...

reflections

MAN! I had a REALLY good idea of what to write tonight, but I totally forgot what it was...
I need to write these things down...
Instead I will reflect on where I was 9 years and one day ago.
I was sleeping.
I was working the 2nd shift at a milk company, as such my routine was to sleep until 10ish then get up, eat lunch, watch Hogan's Heroes, then go to work. Good times. I was living at home in Roseville and I had a very small bed that was horribly uncomfortable... Anyway, I was sleeping when my mom ran into my room freaking out saying, "You were right! The Muslims are taking over!" I don't recall where we were going, but not too long before 9/11 my mom and sister and I were driving somewhere and I said I thought our nation's greatest threat was crazy muslims- not exactly an original thought, but certainly one of depth for a 2nd shift forklift driver, if I say so myself.
So my mom woke me up and I ran downstairs to the living room TV to see the fire on Tower 1. No more than 2 minutes after I sat down the second plane crashed into #2. I flipped out. I'm pretty sure I screamed as I got to my feet in utter shock. I was already sick of Dan Rather's commentary, by the way, and it only got worse after hour 19 of continuing coverage... I digress.
My mom was on the phone trying to get a hold of my dad who was a pastor's conference. Eventually she got a a hold of him, I think because I remember her saying the pastors were all in prayer about the situation. I pictured 40 men nearly on their knees urgently and fervently praying for our land and their families and I was oddly comforted. I have no idea what the atmosphere was actually like there, but I like my little picture. The idea of a group of pastors praying together is a powerful one to me... again, I digress...
I, like the rest of America, was glued to the TV. I just couldn't believe what was happening. Then the Pentagon got hit... when I heard about the Pennsylvania plane and I thought they shot it down- like we shot it down before it could do any damage... who knows what really happened... Then the towers fell completely... wow.
Such a horrible feeling of desperation and confusion- and I was in Minnesota, 1200 miles away from any of the goings on.
I recall going to work in a daze- looking in the sky for any planes... you never know, ya know... The radio was telling of all the church potlucks and lady's guild meetings that were canceled in case of attack- that made me laugh. I can see Bin Laden's agenda: NYC, D.C., St. John's Lutheran Church Willmar, MN... they'd never see it coming. ha!
Or the fact that the IDS tower was evacuated was a little silly to me, but then again I didn't work there, so I guess I don't have a right to an opinion. The MOA closing made more sense to me- being that it's big, near an airport, and the epitome of consumerism. Thank God it wasn't a target...
We all stopped working when Bush addressed the nation for the first time. They had it playing over the loudspeakers. You could hear a pin drop in the 100,000 square foot mild cooler that is literally in motion round the clock. It was such a weird time.
I will never forget the gas line coming out of the Sinclair on the corner of the factory. People were so afraid gas would be in shortage (I thin Dan Rather said there would be...) It had to be 25 cars deep. I don't recall how long it lasted, but perhaps the most eerie thing about the whole ordeal was the grounding of all planes. For days there was nothing man made in the sky. It was a silence that I wasn't used to in the city, you know? Just weird. And then the first planes that flew the week or so later- that was a little trippy. I was looking at something 10,000 feet in the air with skepticism for a little while there.

It was such a crazy, crazy time. I truly and wholeheartedly pray that it is the last time our nation has to go through such fear and confusion. It's crazy to think that the majority of my youth were too young to remember that day. Even yesterday- it wasn't about remembering, it was about arguing about nut case "Christians" who want 15 minutes of fame and talking-heads who think they know what they're talking about... gross. The fact is, we're a mere generation away from forgetting... wow.

Sweet sweet victory.

FRIDAAAAAAAY

Todays guest Blogger is brought to you by American Apparel-proud supporter of v-neck vendesdays.
My name is zacko. I like video games, mma, drums, and tacos. I also enjoy pokemon. My dog's breath smells like dog food. Yummy.

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sufjan ruined my month.

DUDE! I am so bummed right now-
So a couple of weeks ago my buddy called me up and told me about the Sufjan Stevens show coming to Minneapolis in October. He’s a huge fan, and I certainly enjoy his tunes. But he really wanted to go but was broke at the time, so he asked me to buy tickets and then he’d pay me back when he got paid next. No problem. I bought his tickets, he paid me back the next week, all is well. They were like $15 each, no big deal.
UNTIL LAST NIGHT when I found out that I, yes I have to pick up the tickets the night of the show. Apparently, in an attempt to thwart scalping, there is no switching, no transferring names, nothing. Since I was the purchaser, I am the one and only person authorized to get the 4 really awesome (3rd row, center stage) tickets to the indie icon Sufjan Stevens… I am the Frodo to my four Sufjan tickets... Only I can bare this burden. :)

That’s fine its downtown, who cares… except the show is on October 16th!!!!
I happen to be buddies with singer/songwriter Jason Gray. Soon he will be on a HUGE tour featuring my favorite author Max Lucado and the king of CCM Michael W. Smith. I was planning on hopping on a cheap flight to Phoenix and hang with JG and Smitty for a day. Gooooood times! Once in a lifetime opportunity, really. Not only that, but my sister and brother-in-law were going to drive up and enjoy the show with me. They are big JG fans and I was so stoked to introduce him to them and we would all laugh merrily and frolic (on the inside) in sunny Glendale, Arizona… But now I have Sufjan tickets to procure. Sad day.

The only saving grace is the fact that I didn’t buy my plane ticket yet, so I’m not out any money in that regard. And, honestly, I really didn’t have the money for this cross-country expedition, but MAN it was so tempting and would have been absolutely incredible…. Oh well. It is for the best, but tonight I shall not only mourn the Vikings loss, but also my loss of potential weekend awesomeness and a lifetime of memories... what could have been? We'll never know...

ho hum

well there is so much filling my gourd right now, I'm not exactly sure where to start...
I'm not a fan of that. Lots to do, lots to do...
Also, my roommate just told me he's moving out in a couple of months. sucky.

#10211

Today I joined a Food Co-op.
Why, you ask?
why not, I reply.
I now own 4 shares of the MW Natural Food Co-Op and it feels good. I got $75 worth of coupons for joining- I can save $.50 on Tofurky hickory smoked deli slices! What a deal!
The main reason why I joined is because I want to be one of "those people". I feel like a 5th grader reading Tiger Beat and dreaming of being a movie star- but really, I want to wear muted tones and lots of North Face. I want to know how to read a trail map and have my daily dose of granola. I want to ditch the sneakers and wear hiking boots exclusively. haha. Ok, the sneaks went to far... writing that feels so tool-y, but really I am enamored with such folk, and I figured the first step in being like-minded was shopping where they shop. I need to get some reusable grocery bags. Just joining the co-op makes me ooze earth consciousness...
OK OK the REAL reason is because I have decided as part of my independent study phy ed class (joy.) I will engage in the 100 mile challenge. That is, I will only eat food that has been made, picked, or grown within 100 miles of my location. (full disclosure: living in the Twin Cities makes this a tad more difficult, so I've agreed w/ myself to allow me to cheat and make it anything raised in the Midwest... but "100 Mile Challenge" sounds much fancier.)
100 miles for 3 months. 50 years ago this wouldn't have even been an issue. Now a co-op is the only way to do it. The nice thing is it is nice an close by and several people from my church volunteer there, so I just went up a notch in their books, no doubt. Plus the people are super friendly. Right after I signed the last membership paper a big dude wearing an apron gave me a half-hug and said, "Welcome to the family, man." My grocery story considers me family... what does your grocery store do?
Right now, my freezer and cupboards are pretty stocked with outside of 100 miles food currently (I'll refer to such food as "outsider grub", as to make it feel all self-conscience and outcasty- thus less appetizing), so I will have to cheat a little bit until its all gone. I'm not going to waste all that money because of a self-imposed challenge. Maybe it'll be once a week I can have something processed. It'll be a chemical treat. :)
OH, that's another reason I'm co-oping. There's some nasty stuff in our food, and more and more I'm starting to think it's not so smart to be consuming it regularly. That means no more Buck Doubles or DQ Blizzards. tragic!! I'm not going to get all freaky-deaky about it, but I'd like to give the organic lifestyle a try. AND, since it's for a class, can you say EDUCATION EXPENSE? that's a tax write-off, brotha! Dave Ramsey would be so proud. I don't want this to be a food bla(h)g by any means, but I'll keep you posted. I know you're all dying to know how it goes. ha!

on my way home glee and high school musical soundtrack keeping me awake. good times!

eh

at some point this week I am going to recap my summer's cinematic journeys. Currently I'm watching The Switch. It is fairly terrible. That's just a taste of what's to come...
lucky you.

Heyhey!

Sodak this weekend.... Its gonna be good.

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tylerryanmankatobethany

"who Just shot me?" asked Ryan. "its Gonna be alright." Tyler replied. "lets Come together as a team. Ill shoot at this thing." Ryan yelled. "what Are you doing?" he questioned. "I Like llamas." Tyler concluded "i snuck up on everyone." sneered ry guy. Not cool.
The end. This is what happens in kato.

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Oh boy

This twins game might never end. This weekend I'm hanging with my brother. Its gonna be good times bit i'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely overwhelmed with school right now.... And 2 classes haven't even started yet... Oiy. One day at a time I guess. Meanwhile, go twins!!

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BALDERDASH!

In homage to my love of the game Balderdash (in which you invent the meaning of a word or give the back-story to a person of note in antiquity) I have been given a real headline and I will write the fake story. This is going to be great.

Angry Grandmother Allegedly Knifes 12-year-old's Ear
Winston, Alabama
8/30/2010

Walter Syzmanksi, Simple Minded News

The news is still echoing through Pleasant Meadows Trailer Park located in the heart of Winston, Alabama, 45 miles west of Burvy, Mississippi. Grober County Sheriff officials say that 41-year-old Francine LouAnn Masterson attempted to remove her 12-year-old grandson’s ear with a plastic butter knife following a heated argument. The preteen, Orangejello (pronounced Or-on-jell-oh) Marquis DuVry, was treated for minor injuries at the scene and is expected to make a full recovery.

Neighbors say Masterson, a devout Baptist, was incensed at her grandson’s wanton disrespect of her rules against the listening to rap music in her doublewide trailer. Acording to witnesses DuVry was loudly mimicking the music he was listening to, which was reportedly “Baby Got Back” by the 1990’s rapper Sir Mix A lot. “He was a’singin’ and a’ dancin’ like a fool filled with the devil himself.” Said neighbor LouEllen Snapquik. “Franny came at him like an alligator on rotting chicken; that boy didn’t stand a chance.” The 341 pound Masterson pounced on her grandson and attempted to remove his ear bud earphones. When that wasn’t enough, police say she resorted to more drastic measures, “It appears she took a plastic butter knife and attempted to remove the boy’s outer ear.” Sheriff deputy George-Bob McFranston reported. “Needless to say she wasn’t successful in removing the extremity.” Passersby heard the calls of the suffocating adolescent and came to his aid. “It took six of us, but we got her off him. I thought I was rescuing a newborn piglet. Turns out it was a boy. Poor thing.” Said one of the rescuers who wanted to remain anonymous, “I don’t need that woman coming after me next, if you know what I mean.”

Masterson, who has temporary custody of her grandson while her daughter, the boy’s mother, is serving a 20-month sentence for robbing an abandoned post office last March has lived in the trailer park for over a decade. “Oh that Franny, she never take no guff from no body; no sir.” Snapquick said, “She warned that grand-boy of hers to stop listening to the hippidy-hop, but he just don’t ever listen. I don’t know what she do, but I guarantee that boy ain’t gonna listen to that junk no more, no sir.” Police say charges will be filed on Monday. DuVry will be staying with his second cousin’s uncle down yonder until more permanent arrangements can be made.

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WOW! Writing in journalistic form is harder than I thought. Much love to the guys at the Onion, they have a tough job but always deliver...

I was going to include the REAL story here, but it really is an awful tale of really mean people... so I'll pretend this more lighthearted story is the REAL one. We all love happy(ier) endings, right??